Let me first say that I am truly blessed. My son is a straight A student, ambitious, faithful, never in trouble, respected by peers and adults. So how could I possibly be disappointed???
I am definitely picking up on a lack of humility in my son and that makes me fearful for him. I think it’s just a matter of time before God thinks it’s time to step in and hand DS some humble pie. It’s his Senior year and he has applied to the US Naval Academy, as well as to the NROTC Scholarship program–he has a lot at stake. In spite of the way DS has been acting lately, I find myself praying that God will have mercy and help him to be more aware of his lack of humility without slamming him with something (like an injury) that will take him off the course he is pursuing. Of course, perhaps it’s God’s will that he not be in the Navy at all, but the way things have been lining up for DS, it certainly seems that His will is exactly that.
I guess what is most distressing about this is that he seems like the model young man to everyone else, but has been very hurtful towards me…the one who does the most to support and encourage him. We argued about this last night and when he said “I guess all I can say is I’m sorry”, I about came unglued. Of course, I can’t judge his heart, but it seemed like a contrived apology at best. It reminds me a lot of the feelings I had growing up with alcoholic parents…that I can never do enough and what I do do is not good enough. So perhaps part of this is me dealing with the fallout from my relationship with my parents, while trying to cultivate something different with my own son.
DH was very upset with DS last night and insisted that he come to me to work things out, so it’s not that DH doesn’t or won’t lead by example. I guess we are both just at a loss at how to handle what comes across as ingratitude. Any ideas?