Disappointed with my parish


#1

I have always really liked our parish. They have a lot of programs to help others, whether you are a member of the parish or not. We have a St Vincent de Paul center that collects food for the needy and also helps the poor with bills. We have a Parish Assistance Committee to help members of the parish with meals, transportation and light housekeeping.

I have been contacted a number of times to make a meal for someone that just had a baby, someone that just came home from the hospital or someone that is going through cancer treatments. I haven't been asked to help with transportation, but I have been willing to do that if asked. :shrug:

+++++++++Rant alert++++++++++++++++

Now I am in need. I have contacted the committee three times. Once in person and twice by email. I am completely overwhelmed by the LACK of any response. :banghead: Today, my son missed a class because he didn't have a ride and I can't leave the house. How is it that I am there when someone needs help, but when I need help, no one is around?? Grrrrrr


#2

[quote="maryjk, post:1, topic:235073"]
I have always really liked our parish. They have a lot of programs to help others, whether you are a member of the parish or not. We have a St Vincent de Paul center that collects food for the needy and also helps the poor with bills. We have a Parish Assistance Committee to help members of the parish with meals, transportation and light housekeeping.

I have been contacted a number of times to make a meal for someone that just had a baby, someone that just came home from the hospital or someone that is going through cancer treatments. I haven't been asked to help with transportation, but I have been willing to do that if asked. :shrug:

+++++++++Rant alert++++++++++++++++

Now I am in need. I have contacted the committee three times. Once in person and twice by email. I am completely overwhelmed by the LACK of any response. :banghead: Today, my son missed a class because he didn't have a ride and I can't leave the house. How is it that I am there when someone needs help, but when I need help, no one is around?? Grrrrrr

[/quote]

It is frustrating to feel that you are ignored. I guess that the only advice I can offer is to remember that there is probably one person receiving the emails and that persons are capable mistakes, even Christians working in a church office. sigh!


#3

[quote="maryjk, post:1, topic:235073"]
I have always really liked our parish. They have a lot of programs to help others, whether you are a member of the parish or not. We have a St Vincent de Paul center that collects food for the needy and also helps the poor with bills. We have a Parish Assistance Committee to help members of the parish with meals, transportation and light housekeeping.

I have been contacted a number of times to make a meal for someone that just had a baby, someone that just came home from the hospital or someone that is going through cancer treatments. I haven't been asked to help with transportation, but I have been willing to do that if asked. :shrug:

+++++++++Rant alert++++++++++++++++

Now I am in need. I have contacted the committee three times. Once in person and twice by email. I am completely overwhelmed by the LACK of any response. :banghead: Today, my son missed a class because he didn't have a ride and I can't leave the house. How is it that I am there when someone needs help, but when I need help, no one is around?? Grrrrrr

[/quote]

You said you spoke to somebody in person. What did they say? Is there a phone number you can call? Email can be easy to overlook/ignore.

I can see why you are frustrated and hope you can get some help from somebody during your time of need.


#4

Charity that expects repayment is false charity.

Hvae you exhausted all your choices? Family, friends, neighbors, other organizations?


#5

[quote="JM3, post:4, topic:235073"]
Charity that expects repayment is false charity.

Hvae you exhausted all your choices? Family, friends, neighbors, other organizations?

[/quote]

I didn't expect repayment. I made meals because it was the right thing to do. I never expected to need help or to ever ask for it.

But now I am wondering why when I need help no one seems be around. :shrug: Or is that part of false charity? They can only help those that haven't helped?


#6

[quote="JM3, post:4, topic:235073"]
Charity that expects repayment is false charity.

Hvae you exhausted all your choices? Family, friends, neighbors, other organizations?

[/quote]

This response seems a bit uncharitable.

I'm sure that the OP has looked where possible for help since she mentioned her son having to miss class because she couldn't find any. I'm sure if she had somebody else she could have called she would have.

It's a totally human emotion to feel a bit abandoned when we do what's right when we can, but when we are in need nobody returns it.

That in no way falsifies the charity she did earlier.


#7

[quote="maryjk, post:5, topic:235073"]
I didn't expect repayment. I made meals because it was the right thing to do. I never expected to need help or to ever ask for it.

But now I am wondering why when I need help no one seems be around. :shrug: Or is that part of false charity? They can only help those that haven't helped?

[/quote]

[quote="heart4home, post:6, topic:235073"]
This response seems a bit uncharitable.

I'm sure that the OP has looked where possible for help since she mentioned her son having to miss class because she couldn't find any. I'm sure if she had somebody else she could have called she would have.

It's a totally human emotion to feel a bit abandoned when we do what's right when we can, but when we are in need nobody returns it.

That in no way falsifies the charity she did earlier.

[/quote]

I made no accusation. Only the OP and God knows what is in her heart.

To say that you did something for someone and then feel disappointment when it is not done for you is an error in reasoning and could lead to sin. I did not say that she is quilty or has sinned.

It is the 'human emotion' that must be controlled by the reason and by our faith.

Have you asked the Lord to show you the right choice?


#8

[quote="JM3, post:7, topic:235073"]
Have you asked the Lord to show you the right choice?

[/quote]

The right choice of what?

There is no choice. I haven't received any help from the parish. At this point, I don't expect any help from the parish.

Do I feel let down? Yes. Is it because I helped others and they didn't help me? No. Is it because there is an entire committee that is suppose to help when help is needed? Yes.

Am I tired and frustrated? You betcha. Has the Lord helped me get to here? Of course. And I don't think He has carried me this far to drop me.


#9

[quote="maryjk, post:8, topic:235073"]
The right choice of what?

[/quote]

Have you talked with your priest?


#10

I am so sorry to hear of your disappointment.

Please use this opportunity to draw closer to Christ, do not waste this chance it seems no coincidence that this is happening during Lent.

The reason your fellow parishioners are doing this is because they have a fallen human nature. They are sinners, they are forgetful, they are busy and distracted and this can really hurt others.

Think of Christ and all he did for Peter. Then look how Peter denied that he even knew him! Think of all that Christ gave for the Apostles only to be abandoned by them!

You, too, feel abandoned. I do not have a solution to your problem but know for sure that you can take your feelings of abandonment and unite them with Jesus Christ and use this opportunity to really BE with him. When you are feeling sad and let down close your eyes and talk to Jesus. He knows exactly how you feel! Try and draw closer to him I beleive you will find this quite powerful.

Peace to you and you will be in my prayers.


#11

[quote="heart4home, post:6, topic:235073"]
This response seems a bit uncharitable.

I'm sure that the OP has looked where possible for help since she mentioned her son having to miss class because she couldn't find any. I'm sure if she had somebody else she could have called she would have.

It's a totally human emotion to feel a bit abandoned when we do what's right when we can, but when we are in need nobody returns it.

That in no way falsifies the charity she did earlier.

[/quote]

I know what you mean heart4home it can be difficult especially if you don't have any other family around which i am guessing that she doesn't because if she did she would probably not being asking the church and she seems like a good charitable person.


#12

[quote="maryjk, post:8, topic:235073"]
The right choice of what?

There is no choice. I haven't received any help from the parish. At this point, I don't expect any help from the parish.

Do I feel let down? Yes. Is it because I helped others and they didn't help me? No. Is it because there is an entire committee that is suppose to help when help is needed? Yes.

Am I tired and frustrated? You betcha. Has the Lord helped me get to here? Of course. And I don't think He has carried me this far to drop me.

[/quote]

I don't blame you for feeling this way. I think many Catholic Churches are like this. I believe there should be some kind of organization that could handle this within your church. Have you called your Pastor and explained the situation? He may know of someone that would be able to give your son a lift.

Sometimes I wish we did like some Protestant Churches do----provide a bus or have a list of people that need rides to Church or other places. There could be a number in your bulletin that you would be able to call in such circumstances. I think some Catholics who are without transportation could use this type of service, and it sure would be handy during Holy Week when Holy Saturday begins so late.

We had to miss Mass last Sunday because of an automobile problem, and it would have been nice to be able to call someone for a ride.

I sure hope your problem can be resolved, and will be praying for you.


#13

I understand your frustrations, but it might make it easier if you consider that the time of day might impact people's availability a bit. Most people who are able to move about freely and assist others are going to be working in the morning. It may not be a case of you being ignored but a case of no one involved in the assistance program being capable of helping.


#14

[quote="thequeen, post:11, topic:235073"]
I know what you mean heart4home it can be difficult especially if you don't have any other family around which i am guessing that she doesn't because if she did she would probably not being asking the church and she seems like a good charitable person.

[/quote]

My sister lives over 1000 miles from me. And I am taking care of my mother, so she can't help either. There isn't anyone else.

I have been in contact with friends and they have helped when they could. But I home school. And most of the time it isn't a problem. But on Tuesdays, my son need transportation. And most people are at work.

There is a committee that provides rides during the week. They also provide sitters, that could sit with my mother while I take my son to class. But after two emails and two in person contacts, somehow I can't get on the list. :shrug:

Our pastor will be by tomorrow with Communion for my mom, I will mention my frustration when I see him.


#15

[quote="PatrickSebast, post:13, topic:235073"]
I understand your frustrations, but it might make it easier if you consider that the time of day might impact people's availability a bit. Most people who are able to move about freely and assist others are going to be working in the morning. It may not be a case of you being ignored but a case of no one involved in the assistance program being capable of helping.

[/quote]

Which would make sense if they would tell that. Instead, I get nothing, not a phone call, not an email, nothing.


#16

[quote="maryjk, post:15, topic:235073"]
Which would make sense if they would tell that. Instead, I get nothing, not a phone call, not an email, nothing.

[/quote]

I have no advice, but I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I hope things turn around for you quickly! Hugs to you!


#17

[quote="maryjk, post:14, topic:235073"]

Our pastor will be by tomorrow with Communion for my mom, I will mention my frustration when I see him.

[/quote]

It's okay to be hurt and to feel angry. I hope your pastor offers comfort and wisdom.

I agree with the person who said it is no coincidence that this happened during Lent.

I don't know if this helps your frustration that your son missed a class, but maybe there was a hidden reason. Some of the people who survived the terrorism on 9/11 missed being at their desk maybe by 10 or 15 minutes because of traffic or some other normally irritating seemingly senseless thing. So perhaps there was a traffic accident or some other hazard that was avoided?

God Bless You


#18

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