First, if people want to just skip to the main question, skip to the end, but I think most of this information is pretty relevant.
Background - I’ve posted before that I’m discerning entering seminary, but aside from the first few months, which were 2 1/2 years ago, I have had a very difficult time accepting that I might not be called to marriage and to have a family. I have never exactly acted as if I’m discerning seminary - that has become obvious to me as I spend a good amount of time with a girl. A few days ago we had this discussion about it - how she likes me and has had trouble battling with the fact that we spend so much time together but aren’t dating. We won’t be spending as much (alone) time during Lent, so that will hopefully help matters, but that whole situation has really left me wondering about me and my vocation.
With that background, now I’ll say that I’m graduating from college in 2 months with a Bachelor of Arts in Music, and I obviously still don’t feel ready to go off to seminary - I haven’t made any motion towards applying despite the fact I’m graduating. Now here’s where the question comes in. Over a month ago, a job opportunity opened up less than 2 hours from my original home in Kansas. It would be the perfect opportunity for someone like me - it is as an organist/sacred music assistant, with other duties in the parish as well. I applied, and it appears that I am going to be offered the job when I visit over Easter Break. My main question, then, is Do you think it would be wrong of me not to mention that I might be leaving after a year or two to go to seminary? He’s already waiting for me to graduate - he could have hired someone else, but is waiting for me. It seems to me he really wants me, and he also wants me to start a program in the parish in which I would teach lessons on piano, organ, violin, and possibly voice. It almost seems dishonest of me not to tell him that when he wants me to start up a program. If I started up the program when I got there in June or July, and left a year later, that just doesn’t seem right.
On one hand, the job seems like a good opportunity for me to further discern my vocation - I think the priest is good, and the job fits my personality/character, as far as I can tell. If I happen to discern that I am not called to seminary, then it would be a good gateway into other music director/organist jobs after a few years. Also, even if I did leave after a year or so, well, he probably knows that with hiring a recent college graduate, he runs the risk of him just leaving to go off and do something else.
On the other hand, this could just be me running away from seminary for another year or two, and I would be just “abandoning” whatever program I’d be able to develop at this parish after a few months, if I ended up leaving. While I feel pretty strongly I am not ready to go to seminary this Fall, I can see myself being ready in a year.
So again, here is the main question: Should I tell the priest, who appears to be almost ready to hire me, that I am discerning a call to seminary and that he might not want to hire me because of that (I might leave in a year or two)?
I know many of you will wonder or ask if I have a spiritual director, and the answer is no. That’s another one of those things I know I have to do eventually. I just hate the fact that I haven’t done it yet, but I’m terrible at knowing who to approach. Anyway, I just wanted to see some opinions from some people here. If you have other questions for me, the answers of which you think would help you answer my question, then feel free to ask.