Discerning all 3 Vocations?


So, I feel REALLY drawn to religious life, more than other vocations. I feel like it’s the only way I will truly be satisfied and be as holy as I can be and will do better for the Church. I also feel such detachment and dissatisfied for things of this world.
I would not mind being single, but it’s still falls short compared to religious life.

And as for marriage, I think I am certain(I know it’s confusing) that I will be miserable but still leave it open as a possible vocation just in case God calls me there. Although, to be honest, I don’t think I could fall in love with another man and marry him. I consider myself aromantic, meaning I just can’t have romantic feelings towards others. I will consider them like brothers etc. but romantically, I have never even had a real crush on someone before. So in a way I am asexual, but I still am tempted with sex, I guess. I just really wouldn’t want to get married or lose my virginity which I can never get back and I find it very valuable to lose. And I also don’t like the fact that there is not as much sacrifice like in the other 2 vocations.

I still am not able to join a community to discern or even visit but I keep thinking about my vocation and praying. From the information I gave you, what do you think about the possibility of having a religious vocation? Do you have any advice?
I honestly would be heartbroken if I could not become a religious. i have been thinking about a religious vocation on and off from the age of 18, I am 23 now.


Get a spiritual director. In real life.

Also, make an appointment with your Diocesan Vocations Director. They can give you contact info for several places, in addition to helping you in the discernment process.
We can’t really say anything helpful in that regard because we don’t know you.
A few words on an internet forum is not going to give strangers insight.

Good luck!


I agree with pianistclare. And I’ll add, you’re too young to put yourself in an asexual box. Also, there is plenty of sacrifice in a healthy marriage with many children. Don’t let that be a factor. Follow your conscience and pray. :):slight_smile:


I still am not able to join a community to discern or even visit but I keep thinking about my vocation and praying. From the information I gave you, what do you think about the possibility of having a religious vocation?

Why can’t you visit a religious community? You can certainly correspond with their vocations person.


Definitely get a spiritual director; that will help immensely. It sounds like you seem very attracted to one vocation over the others, so it’s worth looking into more. But there’s absolutely no need to rule the others out yet. Even if you join a religious community, you’ll have years before you need to make a final decision. I know you said you can’t visit a religious community, but in all seriousness, really try your hardest to visit those communities you’re interested in. It’s the only way you’ll know if you should continue looking into that. You won’t know by reading a book or website. The great thing about religious life, is that you can “try it out” before you make vows for the rest of your life. That’s not the case with marriage, since you can’t take a marriage vow that lasts only 1-year before committing for life.

Also, be careful not to downplay marriage. It’s a holy vocation, in the image of God. I’m sure the married members of the forum will tell you that there is PLENTY of sacrifice in married life. You’d be sacrificing everything you have for your spouse and children…all of it.


Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your discernment.


there are also other forms of consecrated life besides religious life, just in case you were not aware

third orders, secular institutes, consecrated virgins, hermits, etC…


I agree with pianistclare that you should get a spiritual director.

I discerned a vocation to religious life with both a priest and a Carmelite nun, but something about it didn’t fully click with me. Whenever my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, discusses something like proposing or parenthood, it elicits such a strong reaction in me that I’m confident that my calling is in married life.

Pay attention to these inner promptings of the heart: your draw to religious life, your disinterest in romantic relationships, etc., and pray, pray, pray. You will be happy wherever your vocation rests because it is God’s will. :slight_smile:


I agree with you. The OP could be “in love” with the idea of the religious life more than the actual life itself. Not saying she is, it’s just a possibility that needs to be explored with a good spiritual director face-to-face.


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