Discerning friendships


#1

Is it wrong of us to determine that we prefer to be befriend and date fellow Christians? As someone who is finally making her way back to Catholicism after years of dabbling in other religions and spiritual modalities, I find it very difficult (and even draining at times) to deal with people who are not. I know we should be able to lead by example and perhaps inspire others in that way, but I am just not there yet.

Just to be clear - I am well aware that there are many non-Christians who are wonderful people and who embody Christian principles way more than many of those who actually claim to be Christian.


#2

You date who you want!


#3

It’s probably better to date people who have the same morals and beliefs that you do, so you are right about that.

As for friends-you should choose friends on how they behave and act as well. After all, you are known by the company you keep.


#4

It is generally not a good idea to date a non-Catholic. While you can get a dispensation to marry one from the Church, you don’t want the burden of raising kids in the Faith by yourself. Also, I see that you are a lady. Fathers tend to have more influence over their children’s religious practices, even if the mother is devout. Even Catholics who are happily married to non-Catholics will tell you that they’d marry a Catholic if they could do it all again.

As for friends, it does not matter as much as long as the respect your beliefs and aren’t bad influences. But you need at least one other Catholic in your life because you can’t go it alone.


#5

No.
You can still be polite to the non-Christians you meet and be friendly with them in a casual social contact way, like when you meet them at a party with many other people there.
But you are not required to become their buddies if you don’t want to.

There are actually many people on this forum who would not date a non-Catholic, based on their posts. For myself, I didn’t mind dating non-Catholic Christians if they were respectful of my faith, and I even went out with a Jewish guy or two, but I would not have wanted to date anyone who practiced Islam or Hinduism.


#6

This Catholic was happily married for 23 years to a non-Catholic and there is no way in heck I would ever make this statement. Seriously, this is borderline offensive to me and probably to other people who have had happy mixed marriages. I never once woke up in 23 years thinking, “If I could just get married all over again I’d marry a Catholic.” In fact, I never once woke up thinking if I could get married all over again I would marry anyone other than my beloved husband.

Wanting my husband to convert so he could share the love of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist with me is not the same thing as wanting to marry a Catholic if I could do it all over again. I’ll be totally honest with you, I had at least 2-3 chances to marry Catholic men and I turned them down and married my husband. Because I loved him and he was the right one for me.


#7

I believe that notion was born from a study done on Southern Baptists, who (correct me if I’m wrong) tend to be rather patriarchal compared to Catholics. Correlation =/= causation.


#8

Not in the slightest. Our free will not only functions in choosing good or evil, it also functions to allow us to choose between two goods (or two bads, or two neutrals). We are allowed to choose who we befriend and date. Some choices in this regard might be more beneficial and prudent than others, but morally there is nothing wrong with choosing who we befriend and date based on religion.


#9

I just got that from other posts over the years. I never meant to say that’s always the case.


#10

I don’t know. I just kept seeing that statistic on CAF over the years.


#11

It’s from a Southern Baptist study. Kids in conservative Protestant sects are often groomed to take their cues from Daddy.


#12

It’s not a good idea to stop being friends with those who are not catholic because it’s hard or draining. You might be the only Christian in their life. Continue to be their friend and continue to shine your light


#13

Well, I’m no expert on Southern Baptists.


#14

Just sayin’.


#15

Dating is a bit different. If you want to only date Christians or Catholics then go ahead.

But you should try to befriend everyone


#16

Eh? I can’t say that I agree with this. Why do you say this?


#17

I’ve heard that statement on ewtn radio


#18

It’s a common statistic used on CAF over the years.


#19

Can you quote me the research please?


#20

Just google it


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