I am writing this in the wake of a recent break up that took quite a toll on me. In short, I loved my girlfriend immensely, and still do. However, we made it our goal to discern if we were compatible for marriage. Evidently she felt we weren’t, and thus she ended it.
At the same time, though, I don’t feel this is God’s will. Our relationship ended prematurely because of some personal problems of mine that went too far and pushed her over the edge, not to mention the fact that she didn’t see a future with me (this based on ‘signs’ she received. Baloney, I think). But I had been praying for many months, asking God to show me His will for us. I never heard anything negative. I am still praying to know and accept God’s will for us, and I still have yet to hear anything bad (that’s what is leading me to believe it is not His will).
I know someone will say: “His will is staring you in the face: the breakup is His will!!!” But like I said, I never heard anything bad from the Lord about this when we were dating and I still haven’t. I honestly don’t think it is His will. I felt a connection with this girl that will be hard to replace and we were in love (she just couldn’t take my problems, which is understandable. I’m getting them fixed now though).
It is my philosophy though, that love is completely a choice, and any relationship can work if both people put enough work into it. So, I still love her and I am trying to get her back. I know she put work into it. But by the end it was too much for her, and I understand that.
However, I will stop if God shows me His will more directly. I won’t accept this break up until I know, with no doubts, that this is what God wants. I want nothing more than to follow His will because I know I will be happy if I do. Problem is, I can’t discern it.
So what are the best ways to discern His will for me regarding this girl? I pray every night to know and accept His will and I say Novenas as well. Going to Mass and Confession can’t hurt, eh? :o But what else can I do? What are some ideas?
P.S. Please pray for me so I can know and accept God’s will in this matter. Thank you. :):o