Hello! First time poster here
I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half. We got engaged last oct. I should add that it is a long distance relationship.
She is my best friend and we talk multiple times on the phone everyday. Because of the distance we stay with each other when we visit one another and this has obviously led to sexual temptation and sin. We have gone back and forth from waiting to have sex to not waiting.
She came into the church this last Easter, which was great, however from time to time she will express that she doesn’t agree with everything the church teaches. I believe it is on issues of sexual morality/sex before marriage. She receives the sacrament of confession every few weeks to every few months and goes to church every weekend. I believe she has issues with Church authority and really grabbing onto the reality and objective truth of her god given authority.
She has said things like, “I will never go to daily mass regularly”. “Obsessing over the Eucharist and spending hours in front of it is wack.” And “I don’t need some old white guy to tell me how to live my life.” “If I happen to miss mass some weekend because I’m traveling to visit friends or at a festival I don’t think that’s a big deal”.
She was raised baptist, and didn’t practice religion for about 9 or 10 years until approaching her Christian faith again by going to a Very liberal Protestant church for about a year before she met me. After I told her that I was looking for a catholic wife and family, and I invited her to check out the RCIA program in her town, she joined almost immediately went through it.
We pray together before meals and sometimes spontaneously throughout the day.
She loves God but Her faith is very young. Her prayers are always petitioning God for this or that( not that that is bad but she hasn’t learned and actually is rather turned off by the rosary or mercy chalet or meditative prayer in general. I actually remember having many of the same sentiments towards the church when I was younger. I was raised catholic and went to catholic schools and over the last 4 years have really embraced my faith.
She is in a master program on the other side of the country and we make fairly frequent trips to see each other. The longest we have gone without seeing each other is two months.
We have been chaste for the last month and a half. We are trying.
I sense that she probably wouldn’t be able to articulate in great detail exactly what she believes but she definitely identifies as Christian and has referred to her “catholic faith”.
Im sure that by continuing to be exposed to the sacraments she will continue to mature in her faith but I fear that an unconscious belief of relativism has greatly effected her thinking over a period of 10 years where she had 10 different " serious" relationships and lived with a few of them.
I really do want to marry her but I have run across some of these red flags and am just looking for some spiritual guidance and advice on discernment and good questions to ask myself to try to arrive at whether or not she is the one for me.
Thank you for your time and efforts