Where can I start?
This year I started praying everyday. Sad considering that I came back to the Church about 5 years ago.
This year I started praying the rosary regularly as well.
Though I had been going to confession regularly before that time, this year I confessed the most difficult thing which I hadn’t confessed for 12 years.
This year I have a spiritual director.
This year one of my parents also gave me permission to date. This is such a big change, if you knew how old fashioned my folks are (beginning to date at 30 is what they most likely take to be normal) I’m almost 21 and so there is nothing wrong as regards age if I wanted to discern my spouse in dating; still, my parents would think it is too young and there would be immense in-fighting and tension in the house if I had actually been dating. In any case, now, getting my mother’s permission is the icing on the cake and I feel less unrest as I embark upon discerning my vocation: be it marriage, single, or religious life.
Anyway, I had been discerning for very long about my vocation. Even though I had not prayed regularly before, I would always make an aspiration to God that he would give me an idea of my vocation. I had always thought as a young teen that I would be called to single life or religious life mainly because I did not see a very good marriage at home and so I never wanted to get married. That had changed after my conversion when God began transforming my ideas about marriage.
This year, in conjunction with the renewed prayer life, I have befriended several young catholic men --I am shocked even that they exist and in such numbers–who I have been discerning for marriage. This has never been the case in prior years; I do not know the mind of God but it’s as though he is saying, “now is the time” it wasn’t before, but now is.
Before, I had been pursued by men who were interested in me, but never such that I was attracted back. This is mainly because they were either not practicing catholics, or those who could very likely have been my father as regards age:)
This year I have several “suitors”, those attracted to me, who I feel have been sent to me and to whom I am attracted to as well. They are in love with Christ, his Church, and attracted to me–that’s a great combination
But, I am so simple and plain. My dress is simple, I do not wear make-up, my hair is always tied up, and I am not very “beautiful” according to the world–and you would therefore, never notice me in a crowd. And yet, I, so unworthy am pursued by such men in love with God. I want to give this as a hope to people in a similar situation who think they have to show off their skin or look excessively done up to grab the attention of good men. It has everything to do with seeking God’s righteousness and wanting to please him first above everything else! (Continued…)