Discerning relationship?

You can hold hands with your sister, walk with your arm around your friend. Ask friends for hugs. Get a good massage. There are many ways for those of us not in a marriage can experience physical touch without near occasions of sin.

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What I’m getting from this thread, OP, is that you like to hug and cuddle.
The guy you took up with doesn’t like it so much.
The guy you took up with is now giving signals that “he’s just not that into you”.

Solution: throw this fish back in the sea and go find someone else.

I have no idea why you seem to be trying so hard to force a square peg into a round hole here. He’s not the last man on earth.


What’s his primary love language?

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I don’t think this was the case. The OP stated that her boyfriend stopped kissing her because it was leading to arousal for him and was a source of temptation.

The OP stated that after the kissing stopped, she became bored with the relationship and that the relationship lost its romantic spark. She also stated that after the kissing stopped she fell back into the sin of masturbation.

The OP stated that physical touch is very important to her and one of the ways she feels loved.

I don’t think this is a case of the boyfriend “not being into” her. I think the boyfriend is trying to avoid sin because he is “into” her and unfortunately she feels rejected and unloved because physical touch is her “love language”.

She has expressed to the guy several times that she is bored and he says he will “try to put in the effort” but “he has been taking a very relaxed pace with trying to find stuff for us to do together.”

A guy who is very interested in a girl does not take things at a “very relaxed pace” when she indicates dissatisfaction with a relationship.

The vibe I am getting is that for whatever reason, whether it’s the occasion of sin or he just doesn’t feel this is working out very well (perhaps because he doesn’t want a girlfriend who’s bugging him about finding things for them to do together), he is losing interest.


Yes you are getting smarter and in another year you will be “wise”

It sounds like he may not be the “one” for you if you’re already bored in the relationship. As some others have said, if there’s boredom now, there would likely be even more after marriage, unfortunately. When I was younger, I was very much enthralled with a guy who didn’t seem to want to do much kissing or hugging. When I finally hinted at wanting it, he complied, but he definitely didn’t seem to have the desire for it that I did. We dated exclusively for almost a year when I met another guy who seemed more my “type” whom I began to date instead. I found out many years later that the original guy I had dated for so long came out as gay several years after our relationship and has been “married” to his partner for many years now. That’s definitely not to say that your boyfriend is gay, but it just shows how compatibility can be very important in a relationship. Although you no longer live as close to each other now, there’s no need necessarily to talk to a Priest together. You can still make an appointment to speak with one by yourself and get his important advice and input, and the Sacrament of Reconciliation is extremely important as well as far as your temptations and solo actions are concerned. Prayers for our Blessed Mother’s intercession can also help more than you can imagine! Peace, and our Lord’s blessings to you, my dear, no matter what you decide.

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