Discerning Vocations

If anyone could help me out here, that’d be great!

I’m 14 and discerning my vocation.

What I want to be:

  1. Married: This would be unbelievably amazing! I would love to have a wife and children and live my life in the love of my family.
  2. Priest: This would be amazing, as well. I’d love to lead a parish, minister the sacraments, give sermons, etc. I would love to serve people as a priest.
  3. Monk: I dread this.

What I feel called to be:

  1. Monk: I have a really strong compulsion towards this.
  2. Priest: I feel a calling towards this, but not quite as strong as being a monk.
  3. Married: Right now, it’s feeling like I shouldn’t get married.

What I think I I would be best at:

  1. Priest: I just feel that I would be good at this. I think I have talents that would allow for me to be a good priest.
  2. Married: This easily could’ve been number one. For one, I love kids, and for two, I have an array of talents that would allow me to be great in certain professions.
  3. Monk: I’ve always worried about constant prayer, mortification, penance, and separation from the world, so I think maybe this is God telling me that I am called to do these things.

I know I’m still a ways off from actually having to make decisions based on these things, but it’s been on my mind. I think it should also be noted that I’m pretty scrupulous.

Advice or anything else on discerning my vocation would be greatly appreciated!

Hey, thats great, 14 and thinking about your vocation! I’ll try not to sound patronizing when I say this but - dude, relax! In my opinion, you are overthinking it. Just trust in the Lord. A few weeks ago I was in the same situation (and I’m 20) and I was almost stressing, weighing up the pro’s and con’s and making lists like yours. But I realised that is just a terrible way to do it. Remember always that trusting in God means just that - remember what Jesus said about worrying? Well, exactly.

All you need to do at this point in time is say “yes” to God. And that means you are saying “yes” not to a specific vocation (for now) but to His will. How can you say “yes” to entering the Priesthood if you cannot say “yes” to things in your every day life? Strive to be holy, live like you are a religious (we all should!) and open your heart to God. Pray daily, at least an hour a day through Rosaries, Divine Office, Scripture reading (Lectio Divina) etc. Pray at Adoration and ask God to open your heart. And live each minute as a “yes” to the Lord. One step at a time.

Now for your post.

What concerns me (though, it is understandable!) is that there is a difference in all three categories you lay out. A vocation is just that - in other words - a vocation means all three categories are in line with each other. Think about it for a second. How can there be a difference between what you want to be and what you are called to be? Does that seem odd to you? And take note of the word “I” and “want”. How about… what the Lord wants? You see, combining those two together would make a better category, “What does the Lord want for me?”.

The third category makes a bit more sense, because you should go where you believe you can serve God best. But again, that is all a part of the discerning process and saying yes to God.

So my advice, from a guy discerning himself is this.
Combine those 3 categories into one category - What does the Lord want me to do? Within this question you will find individual answers. Answers to questions like, where will I be happiest? Where will I serve best? What am I called to?
Pray, and ask God to open your heart.
Don’t worry, or stress, you have time, at least another 4 years, so let God work in your life for now.

It looks like you want to do the right thing - possibly where your scrupulousity comes from. You need to relax. Just relax. Jesus is risen :smiley: And he loves you, and he loves that someone so young wants to live his life for the Lord. Imagine Jesus is hugging you all day, because he is! I know, that sounds kinda “uncool” right? But its true. It’ll help you relax.

God Bless and keep praying! :thumbsup:

Did you know that there are some rites within the Catholic Church that allow men to be both married and a priest? oh yeah - Google it - this discovery might change your life. You might be the next married priest! :slight_smile:

Since you do not have to make this decision by tomorrow or next week, I would wait and pray for the time being, ESPECIALLY if you tend to be scrupulous. No need to rush into a life decision at the age of 14. Also, if you have an opportunity to go to an adoration chapel on a regular basis, you might want to do that. I find that sitting with Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament is a fine way to open up those lines of communication! If Jesus is calling you to the priesthood or monastery, I’d be willing to bet that frequent visits with the Blessed Sacrament will make that clear for you.

Incidentally, if you were my son, I would be BEAMING with pride! Best of luck to you and God bless you! :thumbsup:

I thought that was only in special circumstances, for example if a protestant preacher converted to Catholicism he would lose his way of life b/c he was married. The Church makes exceptions so the man can still be a priest and have a family.

It is VERY RARE that you could be a married priest and still be in the Roman Catholic Church.

If you are not in the Roman Catholic Church then you may have other options.

That being said

you are 14!!! See where life takes you. If you are so worried about being a monk you could take a retreat to stay a weekend with an order and see what they are all about. Some monasteries offer youth retreats!!

God Bless and Best Wishes!

I think NKP was referring to the non-Latin Catholic Churches (Ruthenians, Byzantines, et cetera).


I thought the OP was Latin Rite. My bad. :confused:

I def. recommend for the OP a retreat at a monastery.

I plan on going to the Trappist monks in GA just for a nice relaxing prayerful retreat.

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