[quote="cheryl10, post:1, topic:219372"]
When you get engaged you are actively moving toward the goal of getting married, but I believe you still need to be open to any new red flags that may arise or new direction God may call you too. However, to accept a proposal is to make a commitment to that person, intending to become husband and wife...
And so, what does the life of discernment look like in a courtship? Should there be a concrete finish point to discernment before the "I dos"? And if a level of discernment continues after engagement, how would you characterize the appropriate level of commitment at that point?:shrug:
I think I'm a little confused about the part where you say open to a new direction God may call you too. That sounds a little like one didn't discern enough that marriage is the vocation God is calling one to. I think one should be fairly certain that they are being called to marriage, before the engagement, before even thinking about being serious with someone. I think I would be concerned if the other person in the relationship is saying, yep let's get married barring something doesn't come up in the meantime.
There are relationships or people that don't reveal a flaw in their character until after the engagement or even up til the time of the ceremony, but that's worse case scenerio. If one is having doubts that the person isn't ready to get married or might change their mind during the engagement, I don't like I'd accept the proposal. One can certainly call of the engagment at any time, but I wouldn't want to be in any kind of relationship where I thought the other person might have doubts about marrying me or back out before the ceremony. To me, getting engaged means you're getting married, unless something very, very serious that you can't foresee takes place before the ceremony.