I am currently discerning the consecrated religious life. It might be a year or so before I enter the Norbertine Order here in Southern California (If God wills it).
The thing I am struggling with and working through is what I would call feeling a lack or emptiness of consolation. What I mean by this is that for example, I know that as a consecrated religious priest for example I will not be able to get married or thus have a girlfriend. This is true for any priest or celibate in general. I currently help teach an R.C.I.A class in Spanish and there are three young people around my age (two brothers and one sister) that I have gotten a pretty good friendship with. I have talked to them including the sister.
The more I see the girl the more I feel this kind of spiritual pain (knowing that I am not called to the marriage life and thus will not be able to have anything with her) I don't plan to either because I feel called to the monastic life (specifically as a priest) and not marriage.
I guess what I am trying to say is not that I fear loosing my vocation (which is not what I fear) rather it is a feeling of sometype of lack of consolation of some sort that I am feeling, knowing that the monastic life includes sacrifces and in this case it is marriage (a great good and vocation) that you are giving up for a greater good and vocation (religious life/priesthood)
I haven't but I will tell my spiritual director about this. I was just wondering what you guys think? Reccomend?