Discernment and lack of consolation?


#1

I am currently discerning the consecrated religious life. It might be a year or so before I enter the Norbertine Order here in Southern California (If God wills it).

The thing I am struggling with and working through is what I would call feeling a lack or emptiness of consolation. What I mean by this is that for example, I know that as a consecrated religious priest for example I will not be able to get married or thus have a girlfriend. This is true for any priest or celibate in general. I currently help teach an R.C.I.A class in Spanish and there are three young people around my age (two brothers and one sister) that I have gotten a pretty good friendship with. I have talked to them including the sister.

The more I see the girl the more I feel this kind of spiritual pain (knowing that I am not called to the marriage life and thus will not be able to have anything with her) I don't plan to either because I feel called to the monastic life (specifically as a priest) and not marriage.

I guess what I am trying to say is not that I fear loosing my vocation (which is not what I fear) rather it is a feeling of sometype of lack of consolation of some sort that I am feeling, knowing that the monastic life includes sacrifces and in this case it is marriage (a great good and vocation) that you are giving up for a greater good and vocation (religious life/priesthood)

I haven't but I will tell my spiritual director about this. I was just wondering what you guys think? Reccomend?


#2

[quote="Veritas1994, post:1, topic:348996"]
I am currently discerning the consecrated religious life. It might be a year or so before I enter the Norbertine Order here in Southern California (If God wills it).

The thing I am struggling with and working through is what I would call feeling a lack or emptiness of consolation. What I mean by this is that for example, I know that as a consecrated religious priest for example I will not be able to get married or thus have a girlfriend. This is true for any priest or celibate in general. I currently help teach an R.C.I.A class in Spanish and there are three young people around my age (two brothers and one sister) that I have gotten a pretty good friendship with. I have talked to them including the sister.

The more I see the girl the more I feel this kind of spiritual pain (knowing that I am not called to the marriage life and thus will not be able to have anything with her) I don't plan to either because I feel called to the monastic life (specifically as a priest) and not marriage.

I guess what I am trying to say is not that I fear loosing my vocation (which is not what I fear) rather it is a feeling of sometype of lack of consolation of some sort that I am feeling, knowing that the monastic life includes sacrifces and in this case it is marriage (a great good and vocation) that you are giving up for a greater good and vocation (religious life/priesthood)

I haven't but I will tell my spiritual director about this. I was just wondering what you guys think? Reccomend?

[/quote]

You will want to tell this to your spiritual director as you've said, but I can assure you that religious people do have feelings of attractions from time to time. It's just part of our biology and its something that needs to be managed as it really can't be eliminated.

To quote marriage experts Nicky and Sila Lee "loving someone into a marriage eventually becomes a choice".

If you are married to another person or to the Church, you're going to have moments like this, where you meet someone who's attractive and you question if you have a vocation or are with the right person(although some might even if for a short time in some kind of daydream).

But no matter who you are married to, you ultimately make the choice to love them, and frankly, that does mean setting the "what-ifs" aside and realizing that you can't have it all. So some sacrifice is needed.


#3

I'm not sure, no harm in trying though. I'd recommend you call on Saint Jude, he's good with
praying for consolation and over desperate cases. Being family to the Lord also would make
the prayer powerful. Hope this helps.


#4

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