I don't know whether it's Providence, chance or just me being silly that I post this thread. Let me explain my circumstances: I'm 19, live in Germany, finished my A-levels about 1 year and a few months ago and I am currently an Anglican, but have decided after quite some time of consideration to become Catholic. Hopefully that is complete by the end of this year.
From September 2012 until this coming Friday, 30 August I've been giving one year of service to my Anglican parish to have some time to discern my plans for the future. I knew that Catholicism would be part of that future, since I was quite close to deciding to convert when I started this year of service.
I decided to study Catholic theology at university. Unfortunately, there's been a set-back and I am not at all sure whether this will work out in the next few weeks or not. That has caused me to rethink my course of life. Upon reflection, I find that Catholicism and theology are a passion of mine, they warm my heart and grab me. Now that I have been brought to reconsider my plans, I came to ask myself: "What about the Priesthood?"
Just before leaving school I had briefly pondered the question and shoved it away to some distant drawer in my mind. Even during the last few months I have been telling people I didn't "feel called" to be a priest. To be honest with you: I don't think I even know what it was supposed to "feel" like. I must have been expecting some voice saying "Hey, you! I want you to be a priest."
A few of the people at the parish thought I was going to be a priest. One lady came up to me and told me "You'll make a wonderful priest." for which I thanked her, but replying the usual: "I don't feel called, but if it comes, I'm open to it."
Well, to stop beating about the bush: I wonder whether all of that and the set-back for university had a place in God's plan or whether I'm just being silly. I'm not sure whether there actually is the nagging in my heart that I think might be there.
But as I am not even Catholic yet, I'm unsure whether God would call someone who isn't a Catholic to be a Catholic priest. Above that, I know I am a horrible sinner. Really I am. There's so much mortal sin on my soul that it would almost average one mortal sin a day for at least a year. :blush: I can't imagine God would call such people to be priests. But still, I'm not all that certain about it, since I'm writing this post. Do you think He does?
I'm not sure how to continue this post, so I shall wrap it up with these few points:
*]Above all else, may I request your prayers for my discernment whether God is calling me or not. Thank you.
*]Do you know of anything that could help discerning what God wants me to do? Maybe questions I should ponder?
*]Do you think God calls notorious sinners and non-Catholics to the Catholic priesthood?
I'd be so grateful for help. If there is anything you'd like to know, please feel free to ask.:blush:
God bless you all.