Discernment Dating (special case)


I recently was given the discernment that I am not intended for marriage or fatherhood. That is as far as the discernment went, no hint about what specifically I’m called to. Is it still ok for me to date? By date I mean the basic high school concepts of getting and having a girlfriend. (Obviously, I would make known to her my lack of intention of marriage and we would remain well within the bounds of purity.) I am 17 and I am in the last month of my junior year in high school if that makes any difference in the answer to my question.

I feel like this question mainly revolves around a few key concepts that are unknown to me:

  1. What are all of the purposes/reasons for dating?
  2. Are those reasons divisible or is dating only valid if all of the purposes/reasons are present simultaneously?

Thank you for your answers and explanations for the primary question of:
**Is it ok for me to date under those circumstances? **


So who gave you the discernment that you are not intended for marriage or fatherhood.

Don’t forget you are only 17 and still in school. Also things can change from now till say 27 years of age. A lot can happen in 10 years of life, a lot of people will come and go in your life by then as well.

Its your life not mine but all I can say to you is always be open to marriage and family. You may think its a lot of work or it cost a lot of money or you don’t need the headache but having a family can truly bring you a lot of happiness in your life.


Also this is not to hurt you but do not waste any girls time with dating if you are not interested with taking steps to build it up for marriage. But again you are still young and you may find someone who you really want to be with.


Get on with your homework, and ask again in ten years…no 17-year-olds are called to marriage and parenthood…


You might want to contact the vocations director at your diocesan seminary. He can help you discern if you are called to enter a seminary.

If you have a direct call from God that you are not called to the married life, I would NOT discount that simply because you are young. Many many priests have known since they were in their early teens that they were called to another life than marriage and family.

Pray daily for your vocation.


Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your discernment.


I went on only one date, a homecoming, in high school.

I just kept thinking—first, there’s not a lot of girls that I’m interested in, here, outside of their bodies. Some look great, but in terms of relationship, just not that much there for me.

More than this, I kept thinking, “I’m going to blow this cookie joint, blow this town, in just another year, why the heck should I pretend to be starting anything?”

If it matters in this way to you, it’s worth pointing out that the male sex drive at 17-20 or so is the highest it’s going to be, and for better or worse, you’ll be a bit less physically interested in women past about age 25.


Hold it. You were given this discernment? By whom?

You’re only 17 years old, so it’s a bit early to have any confirmed beliefs on whether or not your vocation is to the married state.


Yes. :thumbsup:

Because you find a girl attractive and fun to be around. Ultimately, to discern marriage… but that’s not necessarily going to happen in high school. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date, however. :rolleyes:

You’re over-thinking this, way too much. :shrug:


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