[quote="AdamPeter, post:1, topic:286050"]
I'm currently discerning taking the path to becoming a Catholic priest. Recently I have begun to pray more and read more about my faith. Basically I have been reading up on science and the faith and I feel like the more into my discernment I get the harder it is to believe anything.
I'm actually conscious that this is what's happening. At the moment though it seems like everything is doubtful - Did Jesus die for our sins? Is the Catholic Church a big fraud? Is God even real - and if he is why does he care?
Can somebody help me out with this?
Same thing happened to me when I got to the university and first started discerning. My issue was less with science than with the godless logicians and philosophers, but an intellectual difficulty nonetheless. I've found that this was just another temptations, albeit a strong one. Someone else posted that Satan is trying to dissuade you from the priesthood - this is definitely true. He wants nothing more than for young men to flee from the Faith and their vocation.
Another thing to consider, which I find to be true from my own experience, is that at some point we have to move past intellectual proofs of God and seek His Presence. I was able to do this through a pilgrimage to His own land, but everyone's paths differ. As important as the systematic study of Truth is - in all its forms (science, philosophy, etc.) - we have to experience Christ, to fall in love with His person and not the intellectual abstraction of Him. Pray, my brother! Frequent the sacraments! The Eucharist is so necessary for priestly discernment, as is devotion to the Blessed Mother. I suggest you also read the saints and mystics - their burning, passionate, limitless love of Christ is what every discerner should focus on, I think. This has been my own discernment path, moving from intellectual difficulties to a deeper understanding of Christ as a person. Once we realize that the Incarnation and Resurrection are real historical events, all reality comes into focus around these two events - and all our intellectual difficulties will fade away, because all truth is at service of the overwhelming truth that Christ is alive and working in the world, that He has chosen me to serve Him and that He loves me more than anything in the world.
I hope this helps; you are in my prayers. And remember His words: "And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). Once we make Him the center of it all, and we strive to seek Him out as a person, all our difficulties begin to come into focus around the utter reality of Him.