I have been discerning a vocation for almost a year now, but over the past few months, I have grown increasingly weary of the discernment process.
To start, I’ve been told for most of my life that I should consider the priesthood. Honestly, I never wanted to become a priest, I had other desires and ambitions, so I never really took these suggestions seriously. However, about 2 years ago, I was going through a tough time and started to further rely on and understand the Catholic faith. I started attending Mass more than once a week, research doctrine and the lives of the saints and I started to become more drawn to the priesthood.
Eventually, I started to feel called to the priesthood about a year ago to the point that I felt excited about going to seminary and the thought of ordination. I talked to a priest and the diocesan vocation director who both led me to get more involved with discernment retreats, Masses and encouraged me to continue praying for my vocation. A lot of people at my parish know I am discerning as well.
But this feeling of excitement has waned over the past 6 months. It just seems like discerning has become a chore. I used to feel eager to pray, and now it feels like an obligation. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t know what God wants me to do.
I still think about going to the seminary, but I can’t get over the thought of giving up my job and move away to another part of the country to pursue something that I am lukewarm about.
Has anyone else experienced a fatigue in discerning their vocation? All of the other discerners in my diocese have grown in their vigor for the priesthood, and it seems I am the exception.