Discernment/Moving to Colorado


#1

I love the mountains & cool air. Is it wrong to want to take my family across 2 states, away from other family members? I have good Catholic friends here, in a great parish, great priest…
I stay at home & homeschool our 4 kids. Three of them are up on moving.(14,13 & 10 yr olds) One (15)isn’t because of his best bud-a public school kid-(whose associate peer introduced him to porn) My husband is worried to death that it will cause financial ruin, although we’ll have about $200,000 free and clear to put down on a place in Colorado Springs area. He is a great, honest, hard-working commercial construction superintendent as well as experience with residential but worries about the job market. Other than that, he loves the mountains too. He has family here too, though. We have my mom with us too who is up on the idea and has her brother & his wife the Springs too. She has other grandchildren here, though, although that doesn’t seem to affect her. We recently lost my Dad and we are still grieving…Mom said, "Oh, I don’t mind moving, I think it is exciting and just part of life…"
I wanted to move long before Dad became ill but I nixed the idea due to his medical needs. Now, there is no reason in my eyes.
I want my husband to make a decision to put out his resume and see what happens. He is very wary and worried that somehow he’ll get an interview and have to go there & be out money if he sees the company is a loser or if they don’t hire him…or if the house won’t sell fast…
I, on the other hand, think that if it is okay with God’s Will, He will allow a “bite” on the hook and hubby will get a job…and if it isn’t God’s Will nothing will come of it.
Advice needed!


#2

I can’t say I have much advice, but having made a similar (and successful) large move two years ago, which involved my husband’s career change, and leaving our extended family, I will say that it is something that you have to do as a couple together, with both people 100% on board and ready to face any difficulties together. If one spouse is pushes the other prematurely into a decision, your marriage, and therefore your family life, will suffer tremendously. Every difficulty that comes up will turn into a resentful blame-game, rather than a challenge you face together.

If you really think such a move is a wise and prudent decision, then ask your husband if he would consider praying about it together. But for heavens sake, don’t PUSH. Remember that your husband’s hesitation comes from a concern for you and your family’s well-being.


#3

Agreed - if husband is concerned - he must have reason to be concerned - and there is always great risk in moving if all doesn’t work out as planned - and both real estate and job markets are tricky.

You never said why you wanted to move. Sounds like where you are is great and everyone is comfortable. Why?


#4

I said why I wanted to move:I love the mountains and cool air!
I love snow, I love winter…I love sledding…
I have always visited the mountains as a child and was enchanted by them. I often wondered why God put such a love of these things in me and had me born in a flat state and moved as a child to a hilly state when I love mountains so much.
When I was a young teen about 13…we were actually going to move to Wyoming. But the business deal fell through and I was devastated. Then there was another chance and that fell through too. We had cousins there and I was really crushed about it.
Now as an adult, I see the possibility that it can work out and my kids have these same loves of all things “mountainy” and since they homeschool they aren’t as afraid of making friends as a school-kid may be facing all the unfamiliar faces in a classroom.
I know there are some Catholics homeschoolers in Co and that we’d plug in somewhere just like we did here.
Sure, I would miss my friends and my kids would too but I can’t help thinking it would be such an adventure!!
I know others have done it for those same reasons-the beauty of the state-and never looked back…besides, I like fresh beginnings.
I do realize I shouldn’t PUSH, but that is what I have been doing. If I don’t precipitate these things, my dh will not take the initiative. He is one of those dependable people who fail to decide and kick themselves and WHAT IF way later when it is too late and the time to act has passed.
I will ask him to pray about it with me and please pray for me to be patient with his hem-hawing ways which are out of concern and love-I appreciate him.


#5

Colorado has a high cost of living (at least up in the mountains) and not so many Christians/Catholics. My cousin lives in Boulder, and the whole town is full of new-age, pagans and buddhists. Not my kind of place. I love it up in the mountains too, but when we moved, we looked at Colorado and decided it was too expensive. So we went to the Ozarks in Missouri. Not as pretty, or as cool, but still beautiful, and much much cheaper.


#6

Your husband is the breadwinner, and living in a place that is affordable and stable is of primary importance. Changing careers is not easy, even within the same industry just changing companies. His industry is particularly volatile, and based on reputation. One does not move to another state and instantly have the reputation, contacts, client base, and such that are important in his industry.

In addition to the time, energy, and money expended looking for a new job he will lose senority and momentum at his current job. If he’s happy in his current job, there is no reason to uproot your family and move to a job that is an unknown.

You liked the mountains, and snow, when you visited as a child. You like sledding. Well, let me tell you that living where it snows as an adult is more about shoveling than sledding. And, in the construction industry it means more seasonal issues.


#7

God doesn’t operate that way.

Personally, it just sounds like you are using the “God’s Will” thing to get your own way.


#8

Thanks to all for the advice!

(I should have mentioned that my husband HATES the job he has now.)

According to a website about the liberal (pro-abortion,gays,anti-USA,porn) hate list…The site rates the cities & town according to the acceptance of sin. For instance, San Francisco is on there “good list”. If you don’t revel in sin, & laws get in the way of their debauchery-the town gets a bad mark saying the residents are haters. Colorado Springs is filled with conservative so-called “haters”. They can’t stand Colorado Springs…so it must be nice there! There are Catholic homeschoolers there and good parishes as well as a good bishop…done all the research. Additionally, it IS higher in Colorado then the midwest, but Colorado Springs isn’t even close to expensive and liberal Boulder, which I would never venture anywhere near there!

I have a lot of praying to do! Perhaps 1ke would like to share with me how God DOES operate because I’m not hearing anything…how does one know what exactly God wants? Does God care where we live as long as we are happy & keeping in a state of grace and progressing in our spiritual lives? I really don’t know! I have always tried to do what I think God’s Will is since He is ultimately the One who counts but perhaps I am missing something?


#9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.