discipline

i am a dad and have 4 children at home. some kids seem to get away with mor things than others, because of their strong will and stubborness, and you get complains from the other kids. you want to disciplin but you do not want be alwayas at coniflict with stong willed kids. i have a business and i have the same problem at work. some times they accuse me of un fairness. what is your suggestion, and what do you think when JPII said he was soft on discipline.

thankyou

I only have two, but I’ve learned that what works with one doesn’t necessarily work with the other – some things are hard and fast (no hitting, no spitting, no name calling, etc.) but others require interpretation and more thought. Just as how to deal with the hard and fast rules require different consequences for different kids. My 4yr old would walk across hot coals not to miss his favorite show on Friday night…but for my 2yr old, when she hits, she gets a different punishment (still not settled on what that is, but it involves being removed to a “naughty spot” and made to sit for a minute until she apologizes; “hitting hurts, no hitting”) – kids don’t have to like your rules or your consequences, but if you spend all your time trying to be “fair” in discipline, you’ll spend far less time actually teaching the lessons of life thru discipline, kwim? My first thought was “tough. I’m the parent, and you are the child. You don’t have to like my technique for Johnny, but you’re not Johnny’s parent, I am. I am also your parent, and I will decide the appropriate punishment for your bad behavior.” – So long as you’re not letting Johnny get away with hitting and no punishment when Jimmy gets a toy taken away…does that make sense? It doesn’t have to be the same punishment word for word, but the rules need to hold true for one and for all. Just my 2cents…

Hello

Do what you think your is right in your eyes and what your heart is saying. I cannot comment for your family for I am not married.

But regarding work, discipline staff to what rules you have set them.
Treat all workers equal.

Remember you cannot please all your staff all the time.

God Bless
Saint Andrew.

Well, there should be certain rules of conduct that everyone follows. It should be clear from the beginning that unpleasantness will result from not obeying those rules. Keep in mind that when it comes to children “equal” does not always mean “same”.

Now the punishment may vary, simply because every child is different. I have dc that an upset word said to sends them into crying fits that would make you think a leg was torn off. :o Which I ignore by the way.

I have other dc that will look you defiantly in the eye after a spanking and say, “that didn’t even hurt”. Which is why I don’t spank that often - too busy to stop everything to spank every time I turn around. And they just get the glazed-in-the-eye look when I lecture, so why bother saying more than the facts? But it’s pretty easy to say, “There goes your trip to the zoo Saturday, young man! or bring me that gameboy right now”:cool:

As for work, well you have to have clear rules and clear results for breaking them because it’s been my experience that adults are a good deal slower at learning discipline.:cool: Plus, that covers your fanny when when they go whining “Unfair!” in court.

My biggest pet peeve about work unfairness? You have the people who have made it such a habit to show up late, leave early, never be available to work overtime, never counted on for much other than the bare minimum of work - and everyone just takes it right in stride because that’s the way it’s always been. Then you have the employee that is always early, leaves late, is prepared, professional, and gets written up for being 5 minutes late twice because when the person you always count on is late the other people freak out.:mad:

Not saying you’re that kind of boss, just been there done that scenario. It’s like a kick in the face and the good employee starts to wonder why on earth he’s being such a good employee when it’s obvious that he doesn’t have anything more to show for it. Good news for the bosses though: it’s usually a character trait that just can’t be changed!:slight_smile:

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