I am really feeling discouraged regarding confession. Now, it’s not the sacrament itself, but it’s just I have sins I really want to confess, but it just seems like I can’t!
For example, last week on Friday, I left on my lunchbreak to go to the parish that is nearby because they have Confession as a time that I could make. When I went there, there was a line so long, that I know I’d be there for quite a long time (which I honestly don’t mind waiting) but it’s just I know that I would be be in trouble if I didn’t show back up to work within a certain time frame. Also, along with that, I’ve seen before on another day when after a certain time, the priest came out, and said something about how he could only take so many more people before they had to stop.
Then, I meant to go on Saturday, but I didn’t make it. Then today, Sunday, I was going to go to Confession at yet another nearby Parish, and when I was there, I waited for quite awhile because the line was long, but of course I wanted to stay because I was so thrilled to be able to confess and be reconciled to God again. Then finally there was 1 lady and her son ahead of me, and right when it was her son’s turn to go in, the priest came out and pretty much said he was done, and walked off (from what the lady ahead of me said).
Now I feel discouraged. I mean, I don’t blame anyone but myself, because if I didn’t sin in the first place, then I wouldn’t be in this situation, but I’m trying!!! I really tried, I had nothing but intentions to confess, and somehow, I feel like I can’t! I know that there are no sins to big for God to forgive but it’s like something comes up that keeps me from being able to confess! I’m starting to feel a little despair. Even when I pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, I just feel like I’m wasting God’s time. I know I need to stop thinking this way, because it hurts Jesus all the more to have souls distrust him, but even if I pray the Chaplet, I can’t be forgiven without Confession, right?