[quote="Tantum_ergo, post:8, topic:182027"]
It's hard though for us (as we are all not only sinners, but all people coming from very, very different walks of life and experiences) to be able to be, as St. Paul was, "All things to all men."
As a woman, I just won't relate to some things the way that most men will. Also, being a woman, it might be possible for me to 'say' something to another poster that they might not accept if it were from a 'man'; and sadly, there are also occasions where a post known to be made by a woman would not be given the same weight as one given by a man. . .it all depends on the individuals in that way.
I might be at a rough point in my 'home' life and that might make me more inclined to hear 'criticism' in a post from anybody, whereas if everything were going smoothly for me in 'real' life the very same words/post would not seem critical at all.
While most of us (and I include myself) could stand to think a bit more before posting and to work extra hard to be charitable, we also need to be careful that we don't go so far in considering somebody's 'self esteem' to be more important than a 'tough' truth. They both need to be considered obviously, but it is definitely more important to be truthful than to be (in an effort to be 'kind') untruthful.
I would try my hardest to be gentle if, for an example, somebody was posting on the subject of abortion and said that she just couldn't accept the church 'butting into a woman's personal choice'. I wouldn't call the poster names or insinuate that she was stupid, lazy, or damned to hell. I'd give as much information from sources like the Catechism and Scripture as possible.
But in the end, I couldn't --really I couldn't-- say something 'tolerant' like, "Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree" or "Well, if this works for you". I would have to say that the Church teaching on abortion was right, and I couldn't say that the woman arguing was 'right', or that her point of view was just as 'legitimate'. It isn't. And provided I was still respectful of the person as a person, shouldn't it be understood that I was only disagreeing with her understanding on the issue, and not hating her, disrespecting her, or being 'intolerant?' I know it's hard and I pray a lot in situations like this because believe it or not, those of us often labeled as 'intolerant' and mean have feelings too, and sometimes it is very discouraging to have tried our hardest only to be judged not by how we have said something (as I mentioned, it is often done very gently and lovingly) but being judged as vicious and intolerant because we simply state the Church's teaching as being 'true'.
That's a great response, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. :p ;)