Hi fyrefly, welcome to CAF
I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Yes, confession is very important, and a place where we can receive some of the greatest graces. Do we always feel those graces? No. Thankfully, we know God’s truth isn’t dependent upon our feelings – we believe even when we might not be feeling really excited and happy.
For me, sometimes confession is an amazing experience – I literally feel a flow of grace, like a wave of peace, come over me as I am absolved of my sins. Sometimes I don’t feel that wave – but I know it is still there, because Jesus said so.
Ask Him to help you change, ask Him to help you overcome sin. He will. It might not happen overnight (it doesn’t for most people!) but trust that if you are being open and honest with the Lord, He will come to your aid…
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Jesus told St. Faustina so many wonderful, amazing things, which she recorded (at His direction) in her Diary. I highly encourage you to look into the message of Divine Mercy – it has blessed my life so much. (Go to thedivinemercy.org/ for lots of great information.)
The following is an excerpt from her Diary (bolding mine) – I hope it encourages you and helps you in your journey as it has in mine. God bless you! :hug1:
Our Lord said “When you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul…” and “Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy” (1602) Make your confession before Me. The person of the priest is… only a screen. Never analyze what sort of a priest that I am making use of; open your soul in confession to Me, and I will fill it with My light." (1725)