Discussing homosexuality


I sent to a guys house today because I needed to pick up some stuff he was lending me. The first thing he said when I got there was ‘What would you like to drink’. Since he was being kind enough to lend me things, I though it would be only polite to sit and have a drink (even though it was not a good time for me)

So we sat in the back yard and he got talking about a house he rented out and how the tenant was always depressed and the next thing you know, he moved out to live with his same sex partner. As a Catholic, I felt a moral obligation to state for the record I though it was sinful. He then accused me of being judgemental. I said I did not judge the person but I judged the behaviour. (He didn’t understand that and to be honest, I think it is a weak argument as well)

I then tried to say that I have nothing against homosexuals but I do think that when they choose to engage in homosexual activities they are committing a sin and they are hurting themselves. He disagree and said they weren’t hurting themselves

So then I just kept saying ‘can’t we agree to disagree’ and I think he finally changed the topic out of politeness. Which after having just wrote this, I believe it makes sense now.

I guess what really upsets me is I can’t state an opinion without being called judgemental. The worse is, he knows I am Catholic and he brought it up.

The more I write, the more I think my questions is ‘How do I know I did what God expected of me’. I understand that God gave everyone free will and I have to respect it. And I am more than happy to respect his opinion no matter how much I disagree. But how much am I expected to speak out?

How to know if I were gay

I think you did okay. My thought is that he may be wanting to make a move on you. Hopefully if that was his motive, you nipped it off before it got started. I assume you are well past your teenage years. He has, it seems to me, a chip on his shoulder and calling you judgmental is an indication of that.


I’m not sure why. The guy was just venting about an ex-tenant. It probably surprised him when you changed the subject to the morality of homosexuality.


That’s what I was thinking. What’s the purpose of bringing this up about someone else’s tenant that he doesn’t even know?


Did the OP say that the guy he was talking to is gay? I must have missed that somehow. I don’t think that because he rented to a gay tenant that that is enough to draw any conclusions on about his sexual orientation. And even if he was, it’s not as if most gay men are sexual predators.


A guy who is venting about his former tenant who has already moved out probably isn’t interested in or expecting a discussion of the tenant’s morals, but if you really felt you had to say something, okay. I just hope if the guy had said his tenant moved out to live with his girlfriend, you would have been equally quick to make a speech about sinfulness.

As for “can’t state an opinion without being called judgmental”, come on. You were being judgmental. You felt it was your moral duty to call out sin when you saw it, but that involves making a judgment, so yes, you’re judgmental. Just own it if you’re going to make these speeches.


Just because he’s talking about a gay ex-tenant? That’s quite a stretch. :roll_eyes:


I am a woman, so are you still thinking he was making a pass at me?


This can be read different ways I guess. I read it as they guy was complaining that his same sex partner ran off with the tenant. OP can you clarify?


I’ve seen some outraged folks referring to St.Tomas Aquinas having said that homosexuality was worst than rape. I thought it was strange (perhaps an anachronistic “slip” by the “angelic doctor”) and after searching I found the argument based on Sodom having been destroyed the way we all know and the evil doers should have taken the daughters instead…Sordid reasoning, I know. But, nevertheless…


Just brilliant …


Be prepared to speak out quite often, the society we live in now is much different than 10 years ago concerning homosexuality. The homosexual agenda is winning. They are flooding laws, politics, media, sports events, etc. Hopefully there is a change but it will be up to the Catholic hierarchy and us the laity to make a difference in society.


Well, if he was, then the OP could have just ignored it. I’m sure that lots of straight women have men take a pass at them in which case they can usually just ignore it.


Now I’m certain he was making a pass at you :slight_smile:


No, I thought you were a man. Sorry, I did not mean to demote you.:yum:


If that was a pass, it’s got to set a new record for lame.


By talking about a gay tenant? :thinking:


The reason I felt compelled to say something is because then he went on to say that he now understood why this man had been depressed because he was living in the closest and I forget exactly the words he used but something to the effect that homosexuals should be accepted and allowed to date members of the same sex.

And I think it is only fair when someone starts to talk about the benefits of allowing homosexual behaviour that I let them know where I stand


Sexual sin is sexual sin. It does not somehow magically get a notch better or turn from mortal to venial just because it’s heterosexual rather than homosexual. We are kidding ourselves if we think otherwise.


Based on experience, if I say something like “As a Catholic I love everyone, including gay people, but I cannot / do not support the homosexual lifestyle…” it usually goes over okay. Or, in your case, I would have worded it as “As a Catholic, I cannot / do not support the homosexual lifestyle, but I still love everyone, including people who have same sex attraction. And I’m sorry that you both are having difficulties.” I would then have offered my prayers.

People almost never like to hear the word “sin”, especially if what they’re doing is being called sinful. Almost everyone is so easy to offend, it’s sometimes very hard to condemn the sin while still sounding like you love the sinner. At least, according to how they take it.

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