These are things I have long since confessed, but still have major hang ups on. The events in question are over 7 years ago. Now I was 20 then so an adult and should be held accountable for my actions. Now I was dating this girl for a short time. I very quickly fell to temptation with her. Both a good friend then and a now a therapist said it was basically like I was abused sexual. I don’t like the that view as well I did say yes after much protest, but also I wasn’t physical over powered or forced I would say. I also don’t like to view it as such as I think it cheapens people who are truly abused. My therapist says that my mind set, behaviors (mainly strong porn use and other such perversions), and my hyper focus on these thoughts. I don’t know how to process this in my continued struggles with maturation. My therapist even said it is my form of cutting.
Acts can be traumatizing without necessarily being abusive in and of themselves.
If you freely consented and didn’t feel coerced or forced or taken advantage of, I’m struggling to see what benefit classifying that event as abuse has to your healing process.
Is this a religious therapist?
No she is not, but is catholic. Now I would say it did traumatized me and well I don’t want to say I was coerced, as well I feel it lessens as the blame on me as I should have known better. A lot of other parts of the relationship where emotionally abusive in ways so…
It seems reasonable to me that you could say that your sex act(s) was/were traumatizing, but not abusive, while also acknowledging that there was a lot of emotional abuse in the relationship.
The question is: is this true? Did she use emotional abuse to get you to engage in sex acts you would have resisted otherwise? If so, your therapist has a point. (These are rhetorical questions for you to think about not ones you need to answer on a public forum)
Well she was bi polar with other metal health issues and used to cut and use it as a way to get to run over at 2 am. Normally ended I. Sex
We need to keep this exchange abstract because there are children as young as 12 who post here.
In response to your last post I’d suggest that you know the answer to those rhetorical questions. Meditate on that for a while.
Yeah I will. Just thought it could be useful to the discussion
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