Dishonouring parents - what constitutes grave matter?

I sometimes struggle with frustration towards my parents, which often comes out when I’m speaking to them. I never yell or swear at them, but if I’m getting frustrated, I’ll find myself adopting a less-than-charitable tone of voice. Imagine the tone of voice you’d use if someone asked you the same question two or three times in a row - tired, sarcastic, kind of snarky etc.

I always feel really bad afterwards, and I don’t like hearing myself speaking that way. Usually, my parents don’t seem to notice that my tone has changed (maybe the difference is so subtle that I only I can hear it), but it bothers me anyway. Unfortunately, it’s a character flaw I’m just going to have to work at overcoming.

At what point would something like this become “grave matter”? Yelling or swearing at parents seems a pretty obvious violation of the command to honour your parents, but something like this isn’t as clear to me.

I wouldn’t worry about it as a grave manner if you are not swearing or yelling as you note.
My mother and her sister have a habit of asking the same ? 2 or 3x in a row and often repeating the same thing a few times in one conversation. This is a near CONSTANT thing.

I struggled with the same thing and after years I just answer once and shrug off the rest.
I notice they have heard they are just repeating out of habit. I’ll say I already answered that and they almost always say “yes that’s right.”

Now it’s almost an endearing trait to me now that I answer once and only once.


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