I sometimes struggle with frustration towards my parents, which often comes out when I’m speaking to them. I never yell or swear at them, but if I’m getting frustrated, I’ll find myself adopting a less-than-charitable tone of voice. Imagine the tone of voice you’d use if someone asked you the same question two or three times in a row - tired, sarcastic, kind of snarky etc.
I always feel really bad afterwards, and I don’t like hearing myself speaking that way. Usually, my parents don’t seem to notice that my tone has changed (maybe the difference is so subtle that I only I can hear it), but it bothers me anyway. Unfortunately, it’s a character flaw I’m just going to have to work at overcoming.
At what point would something like this become “grave matter”? Yelling or swearing at parents seems a pretty obvious violation of the command to honour your parents, but something like this isn’t as clear to me.