Some background…my Mom is very ill and will likely pass in the next few months. For a number of years (starting prior to her illness) she has been very difficult. She is rude, petty, gossipy and unkind. My husband, children and I feel tolerated at best.
Mom has been particularly indifferent to our youngest child who has learning disabilities. He is immature at times and it’s evident his behavior embarrasses her. Further, she recoils at hugs or other gestures of affection he’s tried to show her. She even went so far as to openly mock him a few years back. I spoke to her about it at the time and she’s never been as horrible since; it’s still clear as day she doesn’t like him. There are other instances of unkindness towards my husband and I – snide things she could have left unsaid, rude behavior she’s displayed at various times, etc. We’ve ignored that.The attitude towards my son, however, really has changed how I view her as a person.
Honestly, I think she’s mean and I just don’t like her very much.
As I said, she is now ill. I live some distance away (hours) from her, but will travel on weekends as I can to help her out. I consider this my responsibility and will treat her well while I’m there. And, I’m always kind to her when we speak on the phone (daily). What I’m really struggling with is how I feel about her and how much I dislike her. This is my mother and I know she will soon be gone. I wish her no ill and I’m sorry for any pain she’s in. I don’t wish that on her at all. I still – on some level – will not be unhappy to leave the drama and pain she causes behind. Clearly, I’m not going to share my feelings with her. I just don’t know how to cope with disliking someone so much (particularly my Mom) knowing full well they soon will be dying. Anyone here struggle with this? If so, how did you deal with it? Any other suggestions? Thanks and God Bless.