Distance


#1

I dunno what else to say except that I’m feeling pretty far away from God right now… I don’t usually feel like this. I was suffering post-wyd illness. I had pneumonia and whooping cough and narrowly dodged hospital as a result of wyd - not only that, but… I had some probs while I was there which I suppose really got me down (but by no means was it the fault of The Church) and since I have been sick, I’ve had problems with my job (I am going back tomorrow, after being off since July 12 due to WYD and my illness which I’m still slowly recovering from) … Probably a lot of it is due to laziness… but no matter what, I can’t find the words to pray, can’t find the motivation to pick up the bible, to pick up any of my faith books… Please tell me I’m not the only person who goes thru these motions…

:shrug:


#2

ooo don’t worry hon, you are not alone in your spiritual darkness!

The indifference to prayer and Scripture is something that you have to tackle on your own. I won’t give you verses to read or prayers to recite because if you’re not reading Scripture or praying, then those efforts are fruitless.

What I will say, is to keep going. NEVER give up, for God’s sake whatever you do! You need to really get deep down inside yourself and will yourself to pick up the bible and open it and read a single sentence. From there, read two, then three, then a paragraph etc. You need to force yourself to get on your knees and say how you feel to God. Scream if you have to, just don’t be silent in your actions, thoughts and spirit.

Keep going. The worst thing you can do is to lock yourself into a position of indifference.

Talk to a priest, and go to confession.

I’ve been going through the same thing, and only starting to come out of it. From my experience, prayer and perceverence (sp?) are the two main remedies, and they go hand in hand; keep going with prayer, and pray to keep going.

You’re not alone in this. Everyone goes through the motions, and they are beneficial; he is teaching us who He is, and stripping away what we have perceived Him to be. It is a good thing, but you need to strengthen your resolve and march, not stumble into the tunnel, confident that you will see the light again. The shadow that lengthens in your heart, you will realise, is not evil or despair, but the shadow of God’s hand coming closer to caress us and bring us to Him.

I’ll pray for you. I suggest you do the same.


#3

I second Archus.

God’s not going to give us religious feelings all the time to confirm what we believe.


#4

Dear GodsPrincess:

You’re not alone. In fact, when I read posts like yours, it makes me feel how lazy sometimes I get next to people like you. So you and others here at CAF serve as inspiration to me, because I can see you’re making an effort. When I’m feeling like I would rather skip a prayer, I will think of you and others here, and that will help me to pray.

Meanwhile, I will pray for you today, right now in fact. :slight_smile:

~~ the phoenix


#5

I understand completely what you have said. You can intellectualize it all you want - e.g. God draws you closer through absence, etc. - or read it thoroughly described by Thomas a Kempis in the Immitation of Christ - he writes, to paraphrase, when Jesus is present, everything is easy; when Jesus is absent, even that which is easy seems hard - but none of this has ever really helped me when I am in trouble and sounds like empty platitudes when I am going through things, looking to God for answers, and not getting them.

Here’s what I do: First, I tell myself, “Act as if you have faith and faith will be yours.” Going through the motions is not empty; it’s knocking on the door. So I am careful at such times to fulfill all my duties to God including Mass and the Sacraments. I know that the effects of the Eucharist have nothing to do with how I feel at the time, and I will receive grace even if I don’t feel it or know it.

Second, I say the rosary if I cannot say any other prayer. I think people underestimate the value of repetitive prayer. When I say the rosary at such times, if my thoughts wander, so be it. The rosary is taking place on one level and my thoughts are on another, And I tell myself that I am sharing these stray thoughts with the Holy Mother because they are what she really wants to hear; that she is drawing these thoughts out of me to talk about them. So I exercise no discpline over my thoughts in it, and just get through a rosary every day.

Third, I remind myself that a drowning man cannot be expected to have manners. The fact that I cannot discourse well with God when I am in trouble, tired, loaded with problems and trying to move on is no knock on me. When I get firmly onto dry land, we’ll have a more civil conversation.

I know there’s a wealth of spirituality on this topic in the church, e.g. St. John of the Cross, most recently , I think, the example of Mother Theresa. But the above is my own simple formula for my own simple mind.


#6

I like that. This example can really help, I think.


#7

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