Distracted at Mass by too many young ladies (maybe I'm crazy)


#1

This problem may seem absurd to many, but it is a real issue for me. As I mentioned elsewhere, the catholic community at my college is overwhelmingly female, almost exclusively. Anyway, a lot of times when I'm sitting in mass I'm trying to focus on God but I can't help being distracted by them. One side of me says this is bad, :tsktsk: I should be focusing on God.
I've considered finding a new church where the population is more varied and I can focus more on God. Am I being irrational? Absurd? Scrupulous? And maybe, just maybe, might it actually be a good thing that these young ladies are distracting me? lol :blushing:


#2

Like my preist told me last night in confession: when you see an attractive person (in my case, men) Thank God for His beautiful creation. :D I think I found my new confessor. So I've been thanking God A LOT since then. I wish there was a chance to do it at my church (there aren't many single men at my church). I was at coffee thanking God while watchign a cute guy in the coffee shop. Thank God for my cute neighbor, Elliott Yamin, and Brad Paisley.

P.S. And at least for me, that prevents the thoughts going into lustful territory. If you can't go from praising God to lust just like that. :)


#3

Could you sit near the front so there are fewer women to distract you. Hopefully you will find the courage required to do that, is more than rewarded by the privilege of devout appreciation of the great gift of Eucharist.


#4

Nope, you don't sound crazy, you sound like a typical guy to me. Also, what Trishie said is right-on.


#5

Where is that place that there are so many young ladies at Mass? I wanna book a flight!

Seriously, though, you need to focus your attention on God during Mass, but:

  • There's nothing wrong with women. Seriously. Even with the young ones.
  • If you aren't lusting, there's nothing wrong beholding the beauty of God's creation (except the timing).
  • You aren't guilty just because they're young and pretty and you're male. You're guilty when you're lusting and you're lusting when you're accepting lust with your free will (or exposing yourself to near temptation).
  • Again, there's nothing wrong with women, nothing wrong with women being pretty, and nothing wrong with males not being disinterested.

Finally, heh, why not marry one of them? :p


#6

[quote="reed987, post:1, topic:184313"]
This problem may seem absurd to many, but it is a real issue for me. As I mentioned elsewhere, the catholic community at my college is overwhelmingly female, almost exclusively. Anyway, a lot of times when I'm sitting in mass I'm trying to focus on God but I can't help being distracted by them. One side of me says this is bad, :tsktsk: I should be focusing on God.
I've considered finding a new church where the population is more varied and I can focus more on God. Am I being irrational? Absurd? Scrupulous? And maybe, just maybe, might it actually be a good thing that these young ladies are distracting me? lol :blushing:

[/quote]

This is a very simple problem. You just need to ask out one of the ladies there, and once you start going out, she will make sure that you don't get "distracted" by other women at church. Trust me on this one.


#7

i sit in the front and close my eyes for much of Mass so as to focus and feel and live the mystery and wonder and truth.
I wish it were just the 'unattached' that find their thoughts wandering to the bodies of those around them. Unfortunately, many men, my dh included, spend their time at Mass just looking from one body to another and lusting the time away.


#8

Sit in the front! Problem solved. :p


#9

[quote="Augusta_Sans, post:8, topic:184313"]
Sit in the front! Problem solved. :p

[/quote]

lol, I agree with Augusta! :thumbsup::D


#10

well, considering that I sit in the very back every day I suppose I'm only asking for trouble lol.
That said, I shall most certainly consider sitting in the very front from now on.


#11

I have heard of the thanking God for his creation part...and since moving to Pittsburgh I have been doing it a lot at the Cathedral Masses...I am in the middle of four Universities...now if only one of those single professors behind me would actually ask me for coffee...:rolleyes:


#12

I'm actually shocked that nowhere during this discussion did anyone chastise the women for possibly dressing immodestly. WOMEN - if you choose to dress provacatively or even immodestly, you are guilty of sins against the 6th and 9th commandments. :tsktsk: Being a woman myself, I am really sick of the attitude towards men of 'shame on you for looking at me' all the while they're dressed in miniskirts, half shirts, too tight jeans or shirts, and so on. Give the poor men a break and cover yourself up. At the very least, while you are at Mass.


#13

[quote="Ignorantconvert, post:12, topic:184313"]
I'm actually shocked that nowhere during this discussion did anyone chastise the women for possibly dressing immodestly. WOMEN - if you choose to dress provacatively or even immodestly, you are guilty of sins against the 6th and 9th commandments. :tsktsk: Being a woman myself, I am really sick of the attitude towards men of 'shame on you for looking at me' all the while they're dressed in miniskirts, half shirts, too tight jeans or shirts, and so on. Give the poor men a break and cover yourself up. At the very least, while you are at Mass.

[/quote]

He didn't say the women were dressing provocatively...:confused:


#14

[quote="Ignorantconvert, post:12, topic:184313"]
I'm actually shocked that nowhere during this discussion did anyone chastise the women for possibly dressing immodestly. WOMEN - if you choose to dress provacatively or even immodestly, you are guilty of sins against the 6th and 9th commandments. :tsktsk: Being a woman myself, I am really sick of the attitude towards men of 'shame on you for looking at me' all the while they're dressed in miniskirts, half shirts, too tight jeans or shirts, and so on. Give the poor men a break and cover yourself up. At the very least, while you are at Mass.

[/quote]

He didn't say the women dress provocatively...and even if they do, chastising them here is like yelling at the wind. The original poster asked us for our advise as to what HE can do to focus during mass. Even if every single woman in his parish dresses like a trollop, there's nothing he can do about that. Can you imagine a man approaching every woman in his parish and chastising her?

Being a woman myself, I am really sick of the attitude that if a man is distracted by a woman, it is the woman's fault. :shrug: Based on the original post, it's safe to assume that the women are dressed appropriately and the original poster isn't unusually lustful. He just has a hard time focusing on mass when surrounded by beautiful women. I have hard time focusing on mass when surrounded by adorable babies. :p

My advice to sit in the front stands. I have an additional recommendation: I'm assuming you're a single man and wouldn't mind getting to know these beautiful women. Definitely attend coffee/donuts after mass, or get involved in the more social aspects of the parish. Once you get to know your fellow parishioners, you will see them as "Carrie, Jessica, and Annie" rather than "beautiful blond, beautiful redhead, and beautiful brunette." Getting to know them will help you get over the "holy beautiful woman Batman!" reaction (and might lead to something more!) :thumbsup:


#15

My suggestion would be for you to not go to church anymore, never surf the web, go out in public, and certainly don’t take a job where women are in the workplace. And never ever think of leaving the CC because who knows how you would handle sites such as this

Explore Kurt Kuster

This answer was entirely (well mostly) tongue in cheek. But I really do think that this poster sees women, as the old joke goes, the way tuners see pianos: When they aren’t upright, they’re grand.


#16

[quote="Augusta_Sans, post:14, topic:184313"]
My advice to sit in the front stands. I have an additional recommendation: I'm assuming you're a single man and wouldn't mind getting to know these beautiful women. Definitely attend coffee/donuts after mass, or get involved in the more social aspects of the parish. Once you get to know your fellow parishioners, you will see them as "Carrie, Jessica, and Annie" rather than "beautiful blond, beautiful redhead, and beautiful brunette." Getting to know them will help you get over the "holy beautiful woman Batman!" reaction (and might lead to something more!) :thumbsup:

[/quote]

Yeah, getting to know someone helps deal with that factor. Putting a personality in it changes your focus. And makes it harder to objectify someone, just in case.


#17

[quote="Augusta_Sans, post:14, topic:184313"]
I have hard time focusing on mass when surrounded by adorable babies. :p

[/quote]

...oh am I ever guilty of that. :blush: :p


#18

[quote="Kit15, post:17, topic:184313"]
...oh am I ever guilty of that. :blush: :p

[/quote]

Oh me too.....:blush: I just hope no one video records me while I am making faces and things...:p


#19

[quote="Ignorantconvert, post:12, topic:184313"]
I'm actually shocked that nowhere during this discussion did anyone chastise the women for possibly dressing immodestly. WOMEN - if you choose to dress provacatively or even immodestly, you are guilty of sins against the 6th and 9th commandments..

[/quote]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got it all wrong. I should've mentioned that no one is dressed immodestly. This is the most modest group of women I've ever seen.


#20

So I want to know what is going through your head when you are getting distracted by these modestly dressed women? You are there for Mass, right? Are you preparing yourself to focus on the Mass and still unable to not be distracted? Are you just showing up and planning on gazing around for enjoyment? please explain.


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