I am a divorced father of two and as the saying goes, you never really know until it happens to you.
What I never really knew was the plight of divorced fathers and the resulting anti-male bias that exists in society.
I am not going to get on my soapbox about that, but it has guided my actions and those are the issue.
I have become very active in fathers rights posting forums and local organizations.
Recently I started posting on a site and was involved in a dialog with another father who was just starting the divorce process. We were discussing what goes on, what he should do, what he should watch out for and how to handle the emotions. Not that I am an expert on any of them, but I believe in sharing my experiences in hopes that my mistakes can be avoided by others.
To try to keep this short, I later found out that he had attempted suicide (failed, presently he is in a psych ward and appears to be doing ok). It turns out that he had posted a response to me about an hour before his suicide attempt.
It got me to thinking… what if? Then I got scared. Could an innocent comment or observation be the catalyst to cause such a decision?
I have no idea if this applies in this instance, but given that the suicide rate among divorced men is 4X the national rate for men in general it does cause me concern.
Given that one does not attempt suicide spontaneously. Studies have shown that it is thought about and planned for a long time. But there has to be something that causes one to say that now is the moment.
Being the person that I am, I cannot stop doing all that I can to help people.
I would say that this is an instance of trying to reconcile a desire to help without knowing the possible outcomes of such help…
PS. To all those who recommend talking to my parish priest, thank you in advance - there is no need to post it.