Divorce - asked to be Godmother


#1

Hello all

I am recently divorced (I was married in a Catholic church) but never got an annulment.
My sister recently had a baby boy and has asked me to be his Godmother.
I love my sister and and absolutely adore my new nephew. It would be an honor, however I am not sure I can do this with receiving an annulment first.
I tried searching online for answer but couldn’t find a legit answer so thought someone here might be able to advise.

Thank you all


#2

Are you remarried?

If not, then I see no issue.


#3

You are in good standing with the church. An annulment is not necessary if you do not plan to attempt another marriage.

On another plane, however, anything can happen, and it would be a good idea to explore whether you have grounds for an annulment with your local priest.


#4

The only issue would be if you divorced and then remarried without receiving an annulment.

Otherwise, you can still be a Catholic in good standing. If there was some sinful way you contributed to the divorce (which you certainly don’t need to share here), then you would go to Confession for that. But otherwise, there wouldn’t be an issue.


#5

Thank you all so much for the quick replies!

No I never remarried - I never even dated or became intimate with another man since my divorce.
I don’t plan on remarrying either.

I’m not sure if this would be considered sinful on my part but… long story short, he was the one that left. Reason being I did not make him happy so he left me for another woman.


#6

I didn’t mean to imply that there was sin on your part. :blush: I just sometimes see people post one of two extreme perspectives. Either (1) that divorce is always gravely sinful for both parties; or (2) divorce is not a sin at all. Neither of those is correct.

For someone to leave their spouse for another, that is a sin. To be the one left behind is not a sin. To leave your spouse because they are abusive and you fear for your safety is not a sin. To be the one committing the abuse is a sin.

That’s the point I was getting at.

From what you have described, though, there shouldn’t be any obstacle to being a godparent on account of the divorce.


#7

Is being depressed and anxious a sin? Because that’s what happened to me after the divorce.

Sometimes I feel like the divorce was my fault. Had I been a more attentive, loving wife, maybe he wouldn’t have strayed?

I feel like God is punishing me. My ex is happily engaged to the woman he left me for and I am still sad, single, in debt, and picking up the pieces.
I should be ecstatic my sister has a beautiful new family but my heart hurts because I long for the same.

I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent and I got my answers from you guys but I guess I started to think a little harder than I should.


#8

Its not your fault. If he had issues in the marriage, he should have been honest and worked on them with you, not betray you. I’m so sorry for what happened! I think you will be a great godmother to that child. You have a lot of life experience.


#9

Being depressed and anxious is not a sin! Indeed, I don’t see how someone could go through such a thing without being anxious and depressed. I have family members who have similarly been left by their spouse for another (actually, both my parents were abandoned in that way before they met each other). It’s not easy, but in time it gets easier.


#10

You sound like you have been through a really rough time, have you spoken to anyone about what happened? I hope that becoming a Godparent brings some much needed healing for you.


#11

Yes, it has been hell for me. We were separated but still married and he went on vacation with her and posted in on Facebook. I had family members calling my parents that saw it asking why there were pics of him with another woman. I was devastated and humiliated because we had a huge wedding that so many people flew in for. I am also his nephew’s Godmother, and it hurts seeing the new woman spending time with his family.

I’m still very sad. I sometimes feel like God is punishing me and blessing him.


#12

Of course you can. If you wish to remarry you would seek an annulment. For now the Church considers you still married.


#13

That is not sinning, it’s grief. A marriage breakdown will lead us down the road of grief. We go through those stages of grief , similar to mourning a death.

It’s not your fault . God is not punishing you. Let yourself grieve and enjoy that new nephew.

God will show you your place in space in His time.


#14

That’s not your fault. Of course you can be a Godparent!


#15

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