I'm new to this forum and apperciate any feedback. I'm a confirmed Catholic, have never been married through the church, and am currently seperated from my wife whom I've had very little contact with recently. She is a non-Catholic and has not been baptized. We have been involved in a civil marriage just over two years and have no kids. We are both in our late 20's early 30's.
During the first year of our marriage she was having an extramarital relationship that caused us to seperate for a month or so. I forgave her and expressed interest to reconcile, and as a result she took initiative to go to RCIA and wanted to get married through the church. The affair was a blessing in disguise as I grew closer to my faith, made my relationship with Christ stronger, and learned more about my faith while accompanying her to RCIA. Unfortunately, over the past few months, she and our relationship had regressed to the point where she felt she had to leave and she felt bad for "dragging me along". Currently I'm struggling with not only failing in marriage, but more importantly failing as a spritual mentor as I doubt she will go back to RCIA at the moment. Please pray for the both of us.
Right now I'm at a crossroads. I'm married outside of the church to someone that has left me and has hurt me and my family twice in a little over a year. I have forgiven her in my heart and continue to pray for her. Although I love her and have forgiven her, I dont see our relationship as healthy for either of us and feel the need to protect my heart. When I made my vows (outside of the church) I still made a promise to God to love her no matter what, and because of that promise I'm having trouble letting go.
I'm ready to put this civil marriage behind me while still maintaining our friendship. But doing so I want to make sure I'm not jeopardizing the future opportunity of being able to marry in the church (which I've come to realize the true value of over the past couple of years!).
So my questions are should I justify getting a divorce because we were never married through the church and our marriage was not valid anyway? Can someone direct me to any scripture that might assist me in my situation? Has anyone been in this situation before?
Thanks, and any advice and help is much appreciated!