Divorce issue


#1

This question came up in a disscussion of my faith with my mother. My biological parents have divorced; it went off with no problems and I have a loving relationship with both. However like I said I was talking about faith and mentioned why didn’t she go to confession with me when I went. Well she said that it was because of my parents divorce and the fact that they’d need an annulment to be forgiven; but the truth is that their seems to be no reason for a annulment according too Canon law. (Neither commited anything that would recieve a annulment during marriage and truth be told I still don’t know exactly why they seperated)

I thought about it and it seems that their was no reason that a normal anulment occurs. The climax was when my mom asked if I thought she and my dad would go to hell for not getting a annulment or confessing it. Another thing is wouldn’t a annulment mean that they would not of wished to have had children together (Me and my brother) which is a lie since they both love us very much?

So now my own faith seems troubled since I feel like if I think one way then my parents lie and claim to never of had a marriage. Or things remain the same and I have the thought that my loving parents are in Hell for not annuling a marriage.

I’m shaken spiritually by this perdicament…


#2

I take it that your mom has remarried?

She could still petition for a decree of nullity. The Church doesn’t grant such a decree because of something that happened in the marriage, but because of something that was happening at the time the marriage vows were taken that caused them to not be valid. It might have to do with children but it can be any number of other reasons.

Encourage your mom to talk to her parish priest.


#3

Yes she is remarried; and my father has a long time girlfriend.


#4

I don’t think that you understand what are grounds for an annulment. Trust me, it has nothing to do with wishing your children were never born. I have 4 children I love dearly, and have filed for a petition of nullity for my marriage of 17 years.

Do you have any idea why your parents marriage failed…how old they were when they married…what their understanding of marriage was at the time?


#5

I don’t think your mother, or you, understand the decree of nullity process.

There are many, many threads here that deal with annulment. As others have told you, it would have to do with what happened before the wedding, at the point of the vows. Annulments do not mean petitioners never wish their children had been born, nor do they make children of the marriage illegitimate.

If it is at all possible, I highly, highly recommend the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was to your mom and you. It will clear up a lot of misconceptions, and perhaps steer your mom toward getting one. Perhaps you can pick it up used. You might also check your diocese web site for more information on the matter of annulments.


#6

general rule: no one except the parties to the marriage have all the facts about the marriage, and that is why the canon law tribunal interviews them in depth during an annulment investigation. To make a judgement about the marriage of third parties, even parents, is futile. Is is also a danger area to for parents and children and siblings to attempt to judge the actions and spiritual condition of each other. Your mother responded to your direct question with an answer that tells you all she intends to share with you, so drop it. If she asks your help in finding out more about annulments, for instance you can help her, but it is not up to you to try and second guess her situation if she has already submitted to the Church law process.

what happens after the wedding does not affect validity, but only conditions that pertained at the time of the original contract. take PP’s good advice and explore the link given.


#7

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