My husband had a vasectomy. He so loves his six children but felt that he could not have any more children. Should I divorce him?
What’s the best thing for the kids?
That’s the only question that matters.
I think you should support him and recognize that evryone has weakness.
For that reason only.
That certainly does not sound like a valid reason to divorce him, but it is an excellent reason to pray for him. It’s also a good indication that the two of you need to work on your communication for the sake of your marriage.
:bigyikes: No! Marriage cannot be dissolved.
Yes he has committed a grave sin by permanently contracepting himself. He needs to work that out with a priest. (I presume he is Catholic.) That you can help him with that is important, but you can only do that by staying with him.
While there are some extreme behaviors where a separation, even permanent seperation is morally permissable (abuse, adultery perhaps), divorce, in the eyes of the Church, does not exist.
If there are other things going on, please talk to your priest or perhaps a good Catholic counselor.
Why would you want to divorce him for that? He has committed a sin which our Lord will forgive him when he goes to Confession. If Jesus is prepared to forgive him why wouldn’t you?
If this is the only reason than nope.
Divorce is really horrible thing and a great tool for the devil. Divorce will devastate your children and will have a major negative effect on their lives as well as your and your husband. Pray for your husband and maybe see if he will see a priest. I might also add that vasectomies can be reversed.
What’s REALLY going on here? I don’t believe that you just suddenly decided that because your husband had a vasectomy you should consider divorce…there’s a lot more going on that you’re telling us.
I must respectfully disagree with you. Yes, divorce is hard on kids but wouldn’t it be harder on them to see a parent suffer at the hands of an abusive addicted monster. My kids were watching their father physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abuse me while courting his extra-marrital affaris in and out of my house. By the grace of God, a very good friend and my parents helped me to get out of that situation and basically de-program me. How would my children have prospered in that environment? What priest would have told me to stay in that situation?
Thankfully, I did remarry to a wonderful man who is adopting my kids. Their bio-father has shown little to no interest in them and as teens they have decided to close that door. In the last 6 years, my marriage to him has ressurected my DD self-esteem, my sons since of true manhood, and guided them into the Church and one (God willing) into the priesthood. Do you think this would have happended if I had not divorced my husband?
I know this is not exactly on target with the OP but the over-generalized statement did hurt. I would not divorce my husband for the reason the OP ssuggested. INHO, it is not her sin or issue to worry about but rather her spouses.
This was not the issue at all. The Church teaches that you have a duty to separate if your spouse is abusive that you and your children may not suffer.
The issue at hand is whether or not a contracepting spouse should be divorced. And when your spouse falls into that sort of a mortal sin, i think prayer is the best answer, especially when you have 6 kids. If there are other things going on, perhaps counselling, but marriage is a permanent union. This one has been fruitful up to now. If he is fulfilling his obligations to his wife and children in every other way, then prayer and maybe occasionally suggesting he see a priest about his regrettable decision are the only things you should be doing.
Don’t forget that divorcing someone can be a sin, too.
I know that is not the same issue. I felt that his post said my divorce was
Divorce is really horrible thing and a great tool for the devil. Divorce will devastate your children and will have a **major negative effect **on their lives
My divorce was a gift from God. It delivered me out of a living h*ll. And prevented my sons from learning that same violent behavior pattern. Not every divorce in inherently evil.
Did he go off and do it w/o you knowing? If so, that’s a communication and trust issue. —KCT
Personally, I have a tough time believing that this question was honestly asked. I am pretty sure I smell some anti-catholic prejudice and perhaps a faint whiff of troll. …but I could be wrong.
Yes, in a case of abuse seperation is the way to go and then after exhausting any chance of reconciliation divorce might have to occur. I would also stress that one must receive a valid declaration of nullity before remarriage or else they are living in a state of adultry. But in the case of a husband having a vasectomy and not telling her wife, this isn’t even close to being grounds for a divorce unless there is more to the story.
I am going to post this website for every divorce thread going, and unfortuantly there are many right now. Please go to:
www.retrouvaille.org This is an organization that puts on weekend retreats for couple who are on the verge of divorce. It really stresses communication between couples.
Interesting point, you could just as easily say he has been faithful up til now, or has not beaten his wife up til now.
I guess children lose their importance the further down in the family they are, don’t they?
I would be deeply hurt if my husband had a vasectomy-to me he would be saying he doesn’t want to give all of himself to me, and he would continue saying that with his body regardless of whether he had the vasectomy 2 or 20 years ago.
I dont know why I am bothering as the OP only has 1 post dated 14th Dec so I suspect a troll, but here goes.
I noticed she said “but felt HE could not have more children”.
Marriage is a partnership and it wouldnt be HIM having more children, it would be both of you.
He sounds selfish, and needs prayers.
And you both need to learn how to communicate.
why on earth would you even consider divorce?
obviously since OP has not been back this is a trolling operation, why do we bother? any way for admins to weed out the trolls, delete the threads and make database more manageable?
It may be an immoral thing that he did but don’t you think divorce is a bit too harse ???
Whatever happened to loving someone in good times and bad. IF you are so willing to divorce him over such a thing you must have other issues that go far deeper. The fact that you have 6 other children with him, ought to foster a bit more attachment and loyalty than this.
The whole idea of jumping ship in this situation is absolutely absurd and I too suspect the OP is only trying to yank our chain.