mariam1976 I also hated those words but @ the end of the day “Life does go on”. I have all people have learnt that the very hard way. Things have not been easy as soon as you feel that you are taking 5 steps forward once incident happens and you are back at square one. The hardest part of everything is putting the pieces of your life together again. You put everything into a relationship and one day they wake and decide this is not what they want and they want out the marriage. And you cannot force anybody to stay with you if they do not want to. I was with my husband for 12 years and we have two beautiful children and still he left for a teenager. And they are living together and we are not even divorced yet. They have a baby together that stays with her parents and not with them.
Read my threads and you will see what I have been through but you know what I survived and so will you. You will look back one day and say “Hey, Life does go on”. Why did I spend all my time been miserable, unhappy, hurt, angry, disappointed over something that just was not meant to be. I am learning something every day.
The other day I was so angry at God and saying to him why is this happening to me. What did I do wrong. Here I am struggling to take care of the two kids, to be able to provide for them and me. It is like nothing has changed that no matter how much I pray, read the bible or go to church I am still where I was a year ago trying to recover from what happened. Here I am so lonely with nobody to love me, take care of me, go places with me and do things with me. I was crying and praying at the same time say. “Why I am so unhappy while he seems to be so happy, Why I am so lonely when he has somebody to go to bed @ night and wake up in the morning with, Why am I so lonely, Why is she getting better treatment than I ever did, I was abused physically, emotionally etc”. Why does he seem so happy when he is doing wrong and here am I following the straight and narrow path and getting such a raw deal. That I must fight, battle and struggle for everything. That he can even say to me that God has blessed him with this young girl and that he is going to make the most of it.
And as the days went by I slowly starting getting answers to my questions. That everything happens for a reason. That even though I am alone I still have two beautiful children. That I am free from the abuse. That I can be my own person and there is nobody controlling me and telling me where I should and should not go etc. That there is nothing wrong with been lonely use that time to do something constructive. And that I have become a stronger, independent and better person. That I have survived and that I am okay.
There is a movie that I would recommend that women should watch I have seen it twice but it is powerful. It is called the “The Diaries of a Mad Black Women”. Even though it is just a movie but it makes you think about your life. That most women put everything into a man and they even put their lives on hold for them. They stay at home and take care of the kids and their partners and basically put their own lives on hold. Not all women but some women do. That they stay in relationships because they think that it is the right think to do, because of the kids, because they have no other place to go, that they are afraid to be alone.
Sometimes things are beyond us and we just have to leave it up to God. He has been so good to me and when things do not go right then we blame him. He shows us the path we need to follow but we divert and take another path and wonder why things never work out.
Hang in there mariam1976 there are going to be terrible days and there are going to be good days. But never give up on faith, hope and belief. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and everything is in Gods time not ours.