Do catholics always feel guilty about sex?


#1

Hi

I read somewhere that even when catholics are married, they still feel guilty every time they have sex. Is this true?

I’m none catholic dating a catholic and not having a healthy sex life would ruin the relationship for me.

Thanks


#2

You are either very ignorant or … never mind, I’ll leave it at that.


#3

Married couples, Catholic or not, who feel guilty about sex, do not have a correct and healthy understanding of sex.

Unmarried people, Catholic or not, who are having sex, not only have an incorrect and unhealthy understanding of sex, but in addition are living in mortal sin – gravely offending God – putting their eternal salvation in jeopardy.

Catholics are not killjoys. They just affirm that sex is a great and beautiful gift from God which He has given to be used within marriage between a man and a woman. Abuse or mis-use of the gift is a sin.


#4

The short answer is ‘generally no, with reservations’. Lots of Catholics aren’t particularly hung up about sex any more than anyone else is. Others – well, let’s say Monty Python had it right with the ‘Every Sperm is Sacred’ song, at best case :wink: You will find Catholics who have amazing guilt complexes (‘Catholic guilt’ ain’t just a joke for many), you’ll find a whole bunch of them here, and sex in all its multifarious forms is all too often the biggest problem they’ve got. So keep in mind the sample you’re going to get isn’t in any way representative of every single person who answers ‘Catholic’ on a survey. Most Catholics here are pretty strictly orthodox/conservative, and if your SO isn’t, all bets are off.

Also, if you’re talking about having a healthy sex life in a dating relationship – not married yet – uh, duck and cover :eek:


#5

That’s pretty funny. Where’d ya “read” that?

Sexual dysfunction is not a Catholic phenomenon, but a human phenomenon. Nor are any two Catholics alike. *Talk about stereotyping. *

Would ask a question like, “I read somewhere that all blacks like fried chicken and watermelon…”??? Frankly, your question is quite naive and shows a lot of prejudice.

Well, then, why don’t you ask the person you are dating their views on sexuality in marriage? I am wondering why you are posting here instead of talking directly to the person you are dating.

Each person is unique, so no answer you get here will really mean anything. What the person you are dating thinks is what is important.

And, you should discuss all aspects of sexuality, because there are sexual acts that non-Catholics may view as “okay” which would NOT be “okay” according to Catholic teaching. For example, contraception.

In addition you should discuss all the other problems that might come with a mixed-religion household such as how you will raise children, practice your faith(s), deal with religious differences, etc.


#6

Nah. Honestly, the Church teaches that sex is wonderful, holy, and very good for married couples (and not just for the babies either ;)). You just have to make sure that, when married, a complete sexual act is open to life (man climaxing inside woman, no artificial birth control, though NFP is allowed as birth control, etc.) and is for unity (not just to have a baby, but because you love each other and want to be at one with each other).

If they’re feeling guilty about having sex when married (which isn’t only allowed but a REQUIREMENT), there’s a bigger issue.


#7

I agree with “generally no, with reservations.” Many Catholics have a better understanding of human sexuality beyond what we learned from Monty Python.:wink: We often understand that human sexuality is sacred.

Many people in secular culture treat sex as if it were just a very pleasurable way to pass the time of day, (and perhaps express some affection), but apart from that they think sex really doesn’t have too much meaning. Catholics believe that sex really is great. Consequentially, it is a great evil to misuse something as great as sex. Catholics who misuse human sexuality, may be more prone to feeling guilty because they know they are doing something wrong. Catholics who respect the sacredness of the sexual act, can achieve really, truly, GREAT sex.


#8

Hi

Thanks for the replies.

Cheers


#9

Ummmmm if she has inhibitions you should be glad or do you want her to be experienced:rolleyes: We all have inhibitions if we are virgins. The guilt part is only if we are not inline with God’s will. False guilt can play a lot in our lives and this can be overcome. With a lot of love and patience, is this a help?


#10

It’s “NON-Catholic” – not “NONE.”

Me thinks this whole question is bating… :shrug:


#11

To add to the other responses, I think there are age and geographic issues to this. Catholics “of a certain age,” raised in the 40’s to early 60’s, grew up in a time when the Church did not, perhaps, have as mature and accepting a view of the physical aspects of marraige as that which grew out of the Vatican II documents or “Theology of the Body.” Similarly, parts of the country where Catholic parishes and schools were staffed by strict European or Canadian religious orders may have been exposed to some perspectives on marriage that could have been responsible for a level of guilt in marriage that was outside the wider views of the Church - such as “the Devil lurks under every marriage bed.” I think there are many older Catholics who envy today’s newlyweds in that young people today receive instruction on the beauty and holiness of the physical aspects of marriage that is very different than the message in 1950’s era pre-Cana classes.


#12

no, Catholics with a healthy personality do not feel guilt about sex within a valid marriage, but they ought to feel guilty having sex outside marriage, as should anyone with an ounce of functioning brain cells.

if after marriage your spouse contracted some illness or disability that rendered sex impossible, would that ruin the relationship for you? If so, make sure she knows ahead of time how shallow and conditional your love is so she can run like sixty the other way.

by the way, I am of a certain age, so please if you are going to make generalizations make them about another group because you are buggin me, man.


#13

AMEN! :rotfl:


#14

If you are referring to my last post, I would be happy to take you on point-by-point if you’d care to state your areas of disagreement. Or, perhaps you feel qualified to discuss marital prep classes in 1950’s New England. And being of that “certain age” myself, I feel quite comfortable making generalizations, whether or not they bug you, since generalizations are just that.


#15

I concur, having been baited way too much in the past week. I mean, come on- Coming onto a Catholic site and having the audacity to say not only that Catholics are uptight about sex, but to say he’s going to break it off with the young woman should he be refused- But shallower folks have come our way.


#16

Calm down ThuribleGuy, puzzleannie was responding to the OP, Andy_42, and not to your post. Perhaps, it might be easier to recognize who is responding to who if you set your “Display” to “Hybrid Mode” rather than “Linear Mode.” Just a suggestion. She even quoted Andy_42’s orginal post, in her reply.


#17

Me too, it’s a groovy thang, LUV…


#18

lol

I’m sorry, I just had to point this out…it’s like misspelling “misspell” (sp?) :slight_smile:

Your zeal for correcting spelling, yet you made a boo boo yourself.

I understand your sentiment and agree. Just thought we could all laugh.


#19

God gave us sex.

“Be fruitful and multiply”

Why would I feel guilty?

I don’t know how you multiply but I do it the old fashioned way.

1x2=1:p


#20

:rotfl:

No, thank YOU for the laughs.

That was a joke, right?

In all seriousness, if you really did read this somewhere, my guess is it was either some sort of joke or satire, or some very anti-Catholic source!


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