Do child incest victims choose hell over God at their personal judgement due to a sense of shame?

Question’s in the title,

I ask this because I was a victim of incest between the ages of 2-3, and recently read that, even if people with my unfortunate history manage to muddle through some sort of religious devotion, their souls are so irreparably shattered that - even if offered Purgatory/Heaven during our judgement - we ‘cower and shrink away’ from God in shame. Can’t recall where I read it now though; it upset me so much I navigated away from the website, but it was an excerpt from a book by theologians.

This may seem like a daft question to many of you, but - after a lifetime of lapse Catholicism and having only late last summer been struck with a religious epiphany - the possibility I might choose hell by default because I’m so psychologically effed up (and I have to admit that I am) is utterly, utterly horrifying to me.

Can anyone help me on this? Allay my fears - if that’s doctrinally viable.


I do not know anything about what you or people like you have been through. Do not forget God looks into the heart and that is how He judges. Do not forget God is infinitely merciful. I am very sorry for you have seen or experienced. Christ be with you.

Thank you.
God bless you.

Praying that God heals you.

God bless you! Thank you!

Remember that God’s love for you is infinitely greater than any human mind could ever comprehend. And He wants you in heaven even more than you could ever desire it.

If you’re really worried about your fears and shame causing you to choose hell, recall all the times that God sent angels to deliver His messages. What’s the first thing they say, “Fear not.” Don’t think of it so much as a command as a grace, that with those words they were given peace and their fears wiped away.

Be at peace, dear one. Put your fears and your shame aside and, if it is a comfort to you, rest if our Blessed Mother’s embrace. She will always gently lead you to her Son.


You are not alone.

Praying for you, as your sister in Christ who also was seriously “effed up” in childhood.

Go see my post today under family life related to contraception. I’m a survivor of sexual abuse too and what it means is that we often choose to allow people to continue to degrade us because of our toxic shame. So when we have the chance to embrace a healthier life - we avoid receiving true love and tell ourselves shameful things instead. It is very hard to break free from that toxic shame and accept we are of equal dignity with everyone else in this world which means that we too are beloved children of God. The reality that we are indeed beloved children of God is so hard for our psyche to internalize. Being able to stay emotionally connected to other people is very hard for us. We tend to self sabatoge. Purgatory can also take place while on earth through deep psychological inner healing or “purification.” Victims of incest often avoid this purification opportunity on earth and fall into being abused again because we don’t think we deserve anything better. I’m praying for you. I’m so sorry this happened to you. But with Gods grace there is healing for you. You will be welcomed in heaven too - but you need to forgive your abuser and know deep within that you are a beloved child of God too.

God is love.
God loves you. His love is infinitely more powerful than any evil you suffer. It takes time to absorb how good God is. Be patient. Ask him. He will wipe away every tear.
God healed me and my shame was of my own making. Yours is not your fault.
He will lift you up. Trust him. Be patient.

Just one more thought:
Satan is a liar. He perpetuates evil by accusing us and keeping us in slavery to shame.

Jesus Christ is truth. He has already won the victory. Shame and sin and death have no power over us.

I love you, Zweifel. It kills me that you experienced and survived this. God loves you more than I could ever. Please go talk to a priest. And please know that God’s love is bigger than your extraordinary pain. You rock and your are worthy. Let God’s love in.

Incest or rape are both very traumatic.

Don’t ever blame yourself. Don’t ever estrange yourself from God because of what happened.

Hell probably has more sexual offenders than you could ever imagine. It would be terrible to go there. Look upon your misfortune as something that happened and wasn’t your fault. If you need to, talk to a counselor because it may help.

You don’t want to live your life in anger and bitterness over it, it happened and that’s that. You can’t go back and change it.

I know someone who was sexually assaulted and she would love nothing better than to get a 45 caliber gun and shoot the SOB right between the eyes. But the law took care of it for her. He is in prison for the rest of his life. He also committed second degree murder.

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