I’m trying to put my finger on a new dynamic within our marriage… First a quick history: I graduated nursing school in June, and took my dream job in Labor & Delivery working (3) 12 hour night-shifts per week. Shortly before I started this job in August, we unexpectedly discovered that we are expecting our third child. Shortly after I started the job, I started having unstable blood pressures, elevated blood sugars, and panic attacks that I couldn’t really medicate because of the pregnancy.
We made a decision together for me to resign for now and go back next year after the baby is born. My husband assured me many many times that this was what he thought was for the best. When I returned home from resigning (the first day of October), I sat down to share what transpired in my meeting with my manager. He was watching Fox News and seemed distracted. I pointed out that maybe this was not a good time for us to talk because he was busy with the news, and he blew up, threw the remote down and left the house for 5 or 6 hours. He never would really say why he blew up other than he was upset that I wasn’t talking.
Now, this is the first time in our marriage that I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. I’ve always owned a business, or been a student, or been working. Now that I’m just home, he’s always making comments about how he’s the one who has to get up at 5:30 in the morning and that he’s the one who should be tired, not me. I’ve been doing all of the housework except for the lawnmowing, yet one night when I asked him for help tidying up one night, he started picking on how I had loaded the dishwasher. I asked him why he’s got to give me a hard time just because I asked for his help, and he yelled, “Because ***I ***WORK!!!” Yet, I cannot recall any time so far in our 5 years of marriage that I’ve been able to provide so many home-cooked, well thought-out meals, had all of our clothes laundered and put away, kept all of the bills caught up without having to make those last-minute payments because I’d too busy to remember, and had plenty of time to spend with the kids on reading and baking and just discovering life together.
Now when he comes home from work, he just wants to eat dinner and watch the tv all night. He’ll usually lets me sleep in at least once on the weekend, but when I get up the children haven’t been fed and there’s a disaster throughout the house because he just lets them run wild while he watches tv.
I’m trying to figure out if he’s jealous that I’m “just staying home and not working:shrug:”, or if he resents me for actually going through with my resignation (which was really hard for me to do because I’d worked SO hard to get there). So, do husbands sometimes feel jealous of their wives because they don’t understand what being a stay-at-home mom entails?