I am wondering if I have grounds for an annulment.
My husband, who isn’t a practicing Catholic, blind sided me with telling me last night he wanted a divorce. We’ve been married 13 years and have a daughter together. But I also feel that our marriage is based on two big lies. The first lie is the marriage itself. Back when we were married, he was a junior enlisted in the Navy. He convinced me that we should get a civil marriage a year before our “real” marriage so that he could earn more money. Against wiser judgment, I went along with it (and have always felt guilty about the rouse we did to the Church). We were married with a traditional Catholic wedding a year later never telling the Church we were already married. We never finished filing the first marriage to avoid conflicting legal records, but I have the original civil marriage certificate.
The second lie was discovered a few months into our marriage I found out he was having an affair… with a man. He then informed me he was bisexual and didn’t see a problem with having a relationship with a man.
We worked though that, I forgave and moved on (he also had a recent affair with a woman—which is a whole new problem. But I don’t think it would be related to an annulment). Around this time he also told me he didn’t really want children, even though that was part of the understanding of the marriage. Although later on we did have a child…. But then he informed me that we were “one and done.” Since I don’t use contraception, we pretty much stopped marital relations at that point.
I’ve tried to make things work. I’ve prayed. I set us up for counseling. I’ve altered my whole life and sacrificed my dreams of a multi-child family to appease him. But none of it’s worked. I would like an annulment because recent events opened old wounds and with years of maturity behind me, I personally feel the marriage was a sham from the start with the Civil marriage for money and the whole “bi-sexual” surprise. If I don’t get an annulment, I will live with that cross to bear (no relationships with other men because I am spiritually still married). And honestly, I am burnt out on relationships after the ups and downs of the past 13 years and would be at peace single. I am not actively looking to date someone when the divorce is final. But at the same time, if I can, I would like to wipe the slate clean and open up possibilities for myself, just in case… but only if it’s legal in the eyes of the Church.
He said he would support me in seeking and annulment, although I doubt he would admit to the bisexual part since he has a military security clearance that would be jeopardized. It would be my word against his.
Based on this, does anyone think I have a good case for annulment? After the legal divorce, I would hope to pursue this.
EDIT: ops, I found a typo that changed the whole meaning of a sentence. Just wanted to fix it.