Do I have an unforgiving spirit?

When my next door neighbor moved in next door I made repeated attempts at being friendly, only to receive an obvious attitude of “don’t bother me” vibe. They have never ever gone out of their way to even say hello. I even went to the extent of bringing them a bag of peaches from my tree and a little dessert. They were polite and accepted it but still, even after that, they exhibited an apparent lack of interest in any friendship or just a say hello type of neighbor.

So I now just ignore them. When they drive up to their house and I’m outside, I don’t acknowledge them or even look at them. They seem to want nothing to do with me. (and yes I know its not all about me :slight_smile: ).

Am I acting unforgiving?

Well, personally, I wouldn’t make a point of not even looking at them. But you are certainly not obliged to keep trying to be friendly.


In fact, you are being respectful. They want to be left alone, and you are leaving them alone.

What did your neighbors do that needs forgiving? Did they tresspass against you in any way, except by not writing you a thank you note for the fruit and dessert?

Some people just aren’t naturally friendly. You could pray that God softens their hearts a bit.

But it’s been my experience that most people, at least in the US, are so overwhelmed just trying to survive that they get into the mindset that everybody outside of their little sphere might turn out to be one more thing their going to have to worry about, so they’re suspicious of all newcomers into their world. The women who lives in the condo to our north, for example, came out of retirement last year because her unemployed son and his unemployed wife moved in with her after they lost their home. The couple of lives directly west of us both work two jobs and are home just long enough to sleep. The young man on the other side of us lost his job as a firefighter, he’s back in school getting trained to do something else, he’s scared he’s going to lose his condo, and his wife walked out on him in January and took their 1-year-old daughter with her. He has no money for an attorney, and she’s not letting him see his kid.

Except for the ex-firefighter, the rest of out neighbors give off a distinct “leave me alone” vibe because they’re simply overwhelmed. It’s sad.

I wouldn’t take it personally.

A wave and a smile would be nice. Eventually they may realize you’re only trying to be neighborly, and wave and smile back.

thank you everyone for the feedback… its good food for thought. I guess this is just another Pride issue on my part.

My husband and I are sadly neighbors a lot like what you are describing. It’s not that we aren’t friendly people, we’re just never usually home and when we do see our neighbors we are incredibly busy. Okay, I’m probably just making excuses - but the reality is we’re just really really REALLY shy people. We’ve had 3 neighbors since we’ve lived here and while we say hi and stop to chat for a little bit once in a while, we’re just shy people. Not to mention there is always that awkward morning when you hear raised voices and thuds coming from the other side of the wall…:o

Just know that they are likely not bad people - just probably really shy or not incredibly social. You’ve been perfectly friendly, and for whatever reason they don’t want to be social. Just let it go and know that at least you don’t have overly nosy neighbors! haha :slight_smile:

Thank you for your sweet reply… you are most kind.:angel1:

awww, no YOU are :wink: haha

Seriously though - you sound like a great person. There are just some of us out there that tend to be really shy at times or with specific people. I’m sure it’s nothing they have against your or that you did anything wrong. :smiley:

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