Background: My father has recently chosen to leave his faith, family, and my mom – his wife of forty years. My mom is willing to forgive and work through this, but he says he has made his choice. He is involved in an adulterous affair with a woman who is my age and who has five young children, some of whom are close in age to my three children (with one on the way). My children are now 6, 5, and 2 years old. This woman was a close family friend. My father plans to move in with his co-adulterer, “marry” her, etc. Until now, my children have always enjoyed a very close relationship with my parents. We live five hours apart but I have always made an effort to travel there several times each year.
Issue: My father is begging me to not keep his grandchildren away from him. Because of my former friendship with his co-adulterer, he thinks we can be one big happy blended family and I disagee. My father says I should “love the sinner, hate the sin.” I know we are all sinners and imperfect and I do love him, but I do not wish to condone his behavior nor expose my children to his immoral choices. None of my three siblings have children yet, so they do not have this question about a grandparent/grandchildren relationship.
Questions: Am I morally obligated to let my father see his grandchildren to honor my father? Or am I morally obligated to protect my innocent children from this sinful situation? If it is a combination of the two, how do I handle that? Also, how should I explain to my young children why Grandpa doesn’t live with Grandma anymore? Thank you.