Do I Invite Them : Baptism


I am baptizing my newborn during Mass next week and am in need of some other catholics opinions on my situation .
My family : mother and father - non-practicing (non-catholic) believers
older brother - pagan religion claims to also be a freemason
younger brother - says religion is not for him
younger sister - gets angry when God is mentioned

I have recently had big unresolved issues with my sister . My older brother is harsh and a pagan . No real problems with the younger brother although during a conversation he said religion wasn’t for him .

The problem is : Should I invite them . My mother and me just got into it and she just keeps saying "we’re your family you should invite us all " . I am a catholic not even 1 year and just need some help or suggestions .

Also my mother who doesn’t know her religion keeps throwing the " you shouldn’t judge " card at me to defend the wrong doings of my brothers and sisters .


Listen to your heart. If it's telling you that it will cause problems and ruin the day do not invite them. If they will celebrate with you in the joyous occasion by all means invite them.


Will they come if you invite them? I would honor my mother's wishes. You are the only one who knows how it will effect the dynamics in your family. It doesn't seem that your sister is open to it. Perhaps you could have a party after the baptism for the family especially for those who would not be comfortable in attending Church. Don't alienate your family if you are able.

Pray for them and yourself.

God Bless You.


I would invite them.

It would be suprising to show up to an event so that you could complain or just be rude.

And well, if they do that, you just need to be prepared to say... Thanks for coming. You can either drop the "rant, or complaints or whatever." and celebrate this day with us. Or you can go home. You choose. And then let them choose. Should they try to continue to ruin your party. Then you tell them to leave. Few people would stay under those circumstances...


This could be a subtle way of showing your faith that can possibly lead to some understanding and possibly converting.


[quote="scooplm, post:5, topic:213147"]
This could be a subtle way of showing your faith that can possibly lead to some understanding and possibly converting.


:thumbsup: You beat me to it.

Invite them. If they come, it will show a support for you and yours. If they don't...:shrug:
Remember that Christ invites all to conversion and to salvation, even those who hate him.



Unless you have reason to believe that they will do something harmful to the Eucharist etc (which, since you didn't mention it, I will assume you don't) then I would Absolutely invite them. This is a chance you may not get again for a long time, to have them come the the Church! A great opportunity!


We invite everyone to our children's sacraments - and all of our family comes (the non-practicing Catholics, the agnostic, the non-believers - all of them!). I always joke with my family that we'll have to keep having kids if we want to continue getting them to church once a year.

Really, in your own quiet, special way, it is a chance to evangelize your family.


If you don't invite them, it will likely just alienate them more and make your tense family situation worse. They will probably start to resent Catholicism more than they probably already do because they see it taking you away from the family and causing you to reject them.
I agree with the other posters than inviting them is a great way to evangelize them and help familiarize them with the Church and the mass. They will be able to see where you and your child go each Sunday. It will no longer be a mysterious place they know nothing about.


you can let them know the particulars without printing them on a cute invitation, and leave it up to them. You can also welcome them to your home afterward for a family get-together, but let them know the child and the event will be the featured attraction, and if any of them insult you, your family, or your beliefs or otherwise disrupt your party, they will be shown the door. The hardened atheists, if they are anything like my family, would not be caught dead in a church, or in a party celebrating a religious rite and would moreover be highly insulted, and let everyone know about it, if they were invited to anything that had any religious connotation. One of mine burned a card with a generous check inside because I mistakenly used a religious Christmas stamp. Needless to say I never replaced the check.

the next time your mother plays the judgment card, ask her exactly what it is she and your siblings are doing when they bad-mouth your religion.


There's certainly no reason not to invite them if you think they will just be cool and behave themselves. I'm the pagan older brother (though not a "harsh" one, I hope). Not only was I invited to my brother's daughters baptism. I was godfather. THAT, strictly speaking, is against regs, but he knows that I would raise her according to his wishes. It's all very convoluted in my family. My brother, as far as I can tell is a hard agnostic. His wife and her family are strictly nominal Catholics who only darken a church door for baptisms and funerals (not even Christmas and Easter, so far as I can tell). Nobody said the social customs of white suburbanites were easily understood.....


I think you should extend the invitation. If they don't want to come, they won't.

We always invite everyone, Catholic, non-Catholic, lapsed Catholics, to all of the kids baptism's, first communion, confirmation etc... Some come, some don't come but they all know they are welcome.


I think the solution is very easy. First ask yourself 'Do I even want them there'. If the answer is yes, then invite them. If the answer is 'no', then ask yourself the second question. "If I don't invite them, am I willing to live with whatever repercussion that causes?'. If the answer is 'yes', don't invite. If the answer is 'no' invite. Personally, I see religious functions as an opportunity to really be religious. I don't enjoy having a non-believer sitting beside me. I hate attend church with someone who wants to tag along with me when I no they don't bother going every week. I see nothing wrong with not inviting them. But ultimately, you are the one who will have to live with the decision



I would say invite them - besides - you will give the Holy Spirit a chance to work by bringing them all into His presence during the Sacrament. Have fun!!!


Puzzleannie is right on. The baptism is about your child and your family should be sensitized to that fact. If they can’t behave and put your child at the center of the day, then they shouldn’t attend. So extend the invitation, make it very clear what your expectations are and see what happens. They may surprise you!


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