Do I mention this during Confession?

My sister and I are both converts from the 1960’s. I recently moved back to my hometown and started going to Mass in the Church in which I was Baptized. My sister has been going to Mass with me, for which I am so grateful, as she has not gone for about 30 years. This is my dilema. My sister recently told me that she has never been to confession and yet she takes communion without batting an eye. When I asked her about this, she said simply,that she had been confessing all day to God and no one would know. But now, I know and it is causing me alot of distress. In my heart, I believe she is committing a sin and making a mockery of a Sacrament. I am so angry with her and hurt that she would do this…I feel in confession, I should tell the priest my negative thoughts about my sister, but should I tell him the reason? Is it any of my business? I feel my sister made it my business when she told me. Please help! I love going to confession and I want to do what is right…can someone please advise me?

Thank you,
Yours in Christ

Your anger is just, for she is committing sacrilege, and we must hate every sin. But if your anger causes you to lash out, than it will be unjust, for love dose not do violence.

Pray over it. We will all pray with you. Pray to the Holy Spirit … ask the Holy Spirit to put the right words in your mouth and to inspire your sister to go to Confession to experience the fullness of the Catholic faith.

I would say that it depends on the reason why you are taking it confession. Is it because you feel that you’ve sinned in our anger?? Or are you trying to vent and make your sister look bad?

I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing. The priest may be able to give you some spiritual guidance as well as some advice as to what to to. Obviously, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because of the confesional seal but it may help you out.

You don’t have negative thought about your sister. If you have, then you shouldn’t have.
You have negative thoughts about what she is doing. There is a big difference.

Your sadness is justified but must be channelled towards God in prayer as an act of love.

Your immediate job is to make acts of reparation to the Most High God, now that you have become aware of the situation because the sacrilege is committed against Him, not against you.

By all means bring it to confession. Seek the counsel of a good priest. he will advise you on what to do and on how to help your sister.

You are given faith not to condem, or judge or act against others but to point to them the way to truth. A good confessor will tell you what you should do.

Remember the Confessional is for your healing not your sisters. In God’s time and with your prayers and acts of reparation, she will understand and repent.


It is very important that you try not to take what she said or what she is doing personally, as in it is in some way done against you specifically. Rather be worried about her because she constantly puts herself in a state of sin. You can tell the priest ‘a friend’ takes the Eucharist lightly and confess your anger towards that person.

Ask your pastor if he can provide you any handouts to pass on to your sister, which explain the sacrament of Reconciliation and the need to be in a state of grace before receiving the Eucharist.

If I understand your post correctly this is something you should talk to a priest about but not in the confessional. You might confess that you have sibling anger but I wouldn’t give the details. Confessions need to be short and sweet (or perhaps bitter). If your parish is like ours there are probably lots of folks waiting in line. Here, confessions are only heard 1/2 hour before daily and Saturday evening mass. Yesterday folks were still waiting in line half way through the mass. Good thing we have two priests.

Your passion for the Sacraments are to be admired. However not everyone is in the same place. Your sister is ignorant of the value of the Sacrament of Reconciliation but admits to confessing to God privately. You know that the Church is against anyone receiving the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin but do you know that your sister is indeed in that state? To say yes is to judge her soul. Even the most obvious actions that one does which the Church teaches are grave matter may not constitute mortal sin in one’s soul. That is strictly between your sister and God.

Your role is to continue modeling what the Church teaches and to pray for your sister. You obviously already expressed your concern to her and she feels that she is right in her choices concerning the proper reception of the Eucharist. Ill feelings against her will do no good, neither for you or her. Let God be God and you be the instrument of His message. Jesus forgave those who nailed Him to the Cross. Love your sister and thank God that she goes to Mass and receives the Eucharist even within her limited understanding. The Holy Spirit will take it from there…teachccd :slight_smile:

I had negative thoughts about your sister too SO I HAD A BIG WANK

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