Do I need permission to join the Catholic Church?


#1

I both love and respect my parents, they have been wise and loving care-givers to me. My whole family was Baptist untill I looked at the Catholic church, now I wish to join. (but here is my problem) My father says that Catholics are wrong about: [insert EVERY theological debate known to man]. Every time I say anything about going to the local Catholic church, my Dad just gives me a dirty look and says "get real". Now Im a college student so its not like I'm a kid any more but I wish to respect my parents while Im still under their roof.

:confused:How do I become a Catholic and still honor my parents?:confused:


#2

Hi and welcome to the Catholic Faith. It’s good to know that God through the Holy Spirit called you back to his Church.May the holy spirit continue to guide you in your journey of faith. As for the advise you were seeking, I can only suggest to keep God’s commandments to Honor your Father and Mother. In my opinion, you should be catholic ,try to learn more of the faith and not mention it to your parents if these things will bother and affect them. You can go to mass and still accompany them in their church services if they ask you to after all we are all Christians and still worship the same God.

God bless!!


#3

Not the best at analogies, but if your dad was telling you to commit a crime, not committing the crime would not dishonor him. Following God’s will is honoring your parents. With love and patience, your parents will come around in time.

From personal experience, my parent still have a problem with my bro and I converting, and we were both college aged at the time, but they respect the fact that we looked into what we believed and follow it despite what others think, even them. In short, we stand up for what we believe, and even though my parents strongly disagree to this day, they understand.


#4

I agree that becoming a Catholic is NOT dishounoring your parents.

However, I do understand the predicament of living under their roof. So, if it is a house rule ‘Every Sunday morning you go to the batist church’, you follow that rule.

Since you are of colledge age, I am assuming you have (or could easily get) a cell phone. I imagine your parents would not check your calls. You can go to Catholic church Saturday night and not tell them. You can give your catholic friends your cell number so your parents don’t know they are calling.

One thing, God understands your situation. He will understand if you don’t officially convert for a few years

God Bless

CM


#5

I am a 21 year old convert to the Catholic faith. I converted in December.

My parents are non-denominational evangelical Christians of pentecostal leaning. My father did not like my conversion, and my mother was utterly opposed to it.

It’s very difficult. I was accused of destroying the family, forsaking the family faith, and all sorts of evil.

Honoring your parents is great, but when parents ask you to disobey God, then you must choose to honor God, rather than them. It is true that you might possibly want to delay your official coming into the church in order to placate them, but eventually you will have to make the dive.

I took it slowly, over a year and a half, and my parents still weren’t satisfied. They’ve grown to accept it now, and my mother and I don’t talk about it at all but my father is amicable, at least, even though he disagrees with me on many things.

You are the only one who can decide when God has called you to enter the Holy Catholic Church - if it is now, then now. If it is not yet in order to let your parents get used to the idea, then it is not yet.

Going against their wishes is not necessarily dishonoring them.


#6

God bless you on your journey!

However, I’m not sure you are honoring your parents best by hiding things from them. I agree that you shouldn’t throw things in their face or anything, and if they want you to continue going to the Baptist church (at least for a while) that’s OK, as long as you have not become a Catholic yet. It might be necessary to delay your entry to the Church until you leave home, but I am sure that God will plant it in your heart when it is time.

This excerpt from the Catechism might help:

[quote=CCC #2217]As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Col. 3:20, cf. Eph 6:1) Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
[/quote]

In this case, it would be morally wrong to completely halt your journey to the Church if you feel God calling you to join it. If you come to know that the Church is “founded as necessary by God through Christ” and you refuse to join it you are putting your own salvation in jeopardy. (see CCC #846) So, you are not obliged under obedience to stop attending Mass, or talking to Catholic friends, or what have you.

However, in respect to your parents, you might want to talk to them about it just once more, and tell them that you feel that Christ is calling you to the Catholic Church, and you aren’t making any moves without a lot of prayer (I imagine this is true already, but if it isn’t true, make it true before you talk to them :slight_smile: ), and so if this is not the right move, God will let you know. If it is the move that God wishes you to make, you know that they would never oppose it, so you will be attending Mass weekly and keeping up with your Catholic friends, but since you know it hurts them, you won’t talk about it to them at least for a while, but you wanted to let them know what was going on, so they didn’t feel like you were going about it behind their backs.

You know your parents best, but with limited information, that is my recommendation, FWIW.

–Jen


#7

I don’t think it’s as simple as that

You’re looking at a young person, coming into full communion with the Church… even in the best of circumstances, it’s not just, ‘you can go to Mass and still go to Protestant Services’, as the thing that separates us (since we do worship the same God) is in the Eucharist. please wait 2 seconds for an uncompressed image, or press Ctrl+F5 for original quality page

When Protestants have their ‘service of the Last Supper’, or whatever they call it, it’s not the same as Catholic Communion. Those who have not come into full communion with the church shouldn’t be going to the Communion in the Catholic church, just as those who are Catholic should not be doing the Communion service in non-Catholic churches
please wait 2 seconds for an uncompressed image, or press Ctrl+F5 for original quality page
And as an adult, she should be honest that she does not see things the same as her father. please wait 2 seconds for an uncompressed image, or press Ctrl+F5 for original quality page

How to do that is a quandry, but it’s something she should be honest about. please wait 2 seconds for an uncompressed image, or press Ctrl+F5 for original quality page


#8

You are an adult. You need to go talk to a priest about your desire to become a Catholic. You can honor your parents, but when you become an adult that does not mean you must “obey” them as when you are a child.

Religion-wise you cannot disobey the call to become Catholic.

Read the entire catechism section on the 4th commandment. you can find it online if you do not have a copy.


#9

Might I suggest that rather than looking for ways to be a stealth Catholic or dishonouring your parents by bringing a faith tradition into their home that they’ve indicated they don’t want there, that you instead ask God to provide for your needs to move out on your own so that you are truly an independent adult?

If God is calling you to do this, He knows your living situation and your parents’ hearts. He could provide you with work, some other form of income or a caring Catholic who offers you a room in their home for the duration of your studies. Scripture provides numerous examples of God providing resources for those He has called to make a change in their lives. Noah, Abraham, Moses and Gideon are four that come to mind quickly.

Having said this, if you do find the means to become independent, you should sit down and have a serious talk with your parents before doing so. Explain that you respect their faith and that you feel called to become Catholic, so much so that you will move out on your own if necessary. They can then decide how they would like to respond-it is the action of a mature individual treating others with respect, and may convince them that they can live with you and Catholicism.

Good luck! :slight_smile:


#10

These words of Jesus spring to mind:

[bibledrb]Matthew 10:34-40[/bibledrb]

I think that you do your parents honour with this post, but it sounds like your dad is the one who is going to cause the trouble here!


#11

The previous poster who posted Mathew Chapter 10 actually posted my favorite verse but here is one that may bring some better talking points in this situation and be a little less controversial:

Matthew 23:9 And call no man your father on the earth: for one is your Father, even he who is in heaven

The Fundamentalist Christians say that this is why we Catholics are sinful for calling the Priest Father

The more Contextually based Christians such as Catholics say that this verse is making your current argument that you cannot allow any human being including family to come between you and God for God is the Father of all

God bless you and welcome home.


#12

There’s a reason for the order of the 10 Commandments. God always comes first. It’s very possible you are the “tool” he’ll use to influence your parents for the better too. He might be converting your entire family for all you know.

A quote that comes to mind is, “Truth is within ourselves.” To a certain extent, I believe that’s correct. We know right from wrong and our actions either live up to it or not.

When it comes to honor, I think you’re a bit heavy in the excuses department. Honor is doing the right thing even in difficult circumstances. It’s following your heart, with complete courage and perseverance, even when others tell you not to. It’s standing alone to do the right thing, rather than in the crowd that doesn’t agree with the right thing.

Your choice is not going to be easy, but it’s one you have to make. If you know God called you to conversion to the Catholic Church, you need to decide how you will respond to Him. If you’re merely curious about the Catholic faith and don’t know which religion to follow, you need to continue on the journey and find out where God leads you. It’s not about what anyone else says or does. This is about your one on one relationship with God Himself, and it will be affected by the choices you make.

Take care, my friend. I wish you every blessing~
Teresa
(aka: M. J. - please check out my catechism blog :))


#13

[quote="Non_Serviam, post:9, topic:198554"]
Might I suggest that rather than looking for ways to be a stealth Catholic or dishonouring your parents by bringing a faith tradition into their home that they've indicated they don't want there, that you instead ask God to provide for your needs to move out on your own so that you are truly an independent adult?

If God is calling you to do this, He knows your living situation and your parents' hearts. He could provide you with work, some other form of income or a caring Catholic who offers you a room in their home for the duration of your studies. Scripture provides numerous examples of God providing resources for those He has called to make a change in their lives. Noah, Abraham, Moses and Gideon are four that come to mind quickly.

Having said this, if you do find the means to become independent, you should sit down and have a serious talk with your parents before doing so. Explain that you respect their faith and that you feel called to become Catholic, so much so that you will move out on your own if necessary. They can then decide how they would like to respond-it is the action of a mature individual treating others with respect, and may convince them that they can live with you and Catholicism.

Good luck! :)

[/quote]

I agree with this post. I am imagining what it must be like for your parents to hear you say you've chosen a faith they not only disagree with, but one they believe will lead you straight to hell. If my own, almost college age child told me that, I'd be crushed. And then I'd probably tell him if he wants to make such "adult" decisions, he can do it without my fanancial support. Is that the right way to handle things? Probably not. But I would be just that hurt and worried for his eternal soul.

So while I am thrilled that you want to be Catholic, my heart goes out to your dear parents who no doubt love you and want nothing but the best for you. Until you are in a position to support yourself, I really think you need to keep your faith to yourself. Attend mass when it's possible, but keep quiet about it. You may also want to get your parents some good books that explain the Catholic Faith? Not sure if they'd want to read them.. but it would be great if they did. Your parents have probably been taught all sorts of things about the Catholic Church that aren't even true.


closed #14

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