Do you ever feel not loved

Do any of you ever feel like God just missed you. I know what I am going to say will sound selfish, but I struggle with it. I feel like God won’t show himself to me. I try over and over again to reach him, and I get far, then I fall. I have been virtueous and I try. I have been to 2 steubenvilles and a World Youth Day. I keep trying to give myself to God, but I feel like he isn’t there. No matter what I do, I never feel him in adoration or in mass. I don’t have conversations with him. I know it isn’t about me and it is about him, but I am just so confused and alone. I feel like I am the only who is like this. All my friends are either completely not looking for God or have already found him. I don’t want to sin anymore.


feelings are a very unreliable guide to spirituality and progress in the spiritual life. a better guide is: am I obeying the commandments, am I fulfilling the duties of my state in life each day, am I offering everything I do and everything that happens to me to Jesus. Am I praying. Am I attentive to the needs of others especially of the poor. Am I planning my life in light of God’s calling to me. Most of all, am I listening to the Word of God when He speaks to me, which for most of us, most of the time, is through Sacred Scripture and through the teaching office of the Catholic Church. Do I pray with sacred scripture every day. Do I spend time in silence so that I may hear God’s voice. Do I attend Mass every Sunday and frequently receive the sacraments. are my relationships with family, friends, co-workers, loved ones improving? Are these relationships mutually beneficial in making us better persons and in helping us grow closer to Christ and carry out God’s will.

Dear friend

It is impossible for any soul to seek God without God draw that soul to Himself. The seeking of God is a grace from Him, it is not just something we can simply set out to do, the very desire for Him He enkindles in your heart. This aching in your heart is at times painful for you, but God placed that yearning into your heart by grace and He is a keeper of His promises and Jesus has said ‘Knock and the door shall be opened to you, seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive’, so trust that His consolation is assured to you.

It is a greater blessing to persevere in faith and never receive a single consolation than it is to receive many consolations. Your consolation will be in heaven if you ‘run the race’ by God’s grace!

You are a young person setting out on the long, hard and narrow road of life in faith in Jesus. Remember when Jesus started His ministry He went out and spent forty days and nights in the desert an arid and desolate place. Unite yourself with Jesus there and offer your aching heart to God the Father on the Altar at Holy Mass as your sacrifice for your soul and those of others and for love of God.

Try and sit with Jesus infront of the Blessed Sacrament. You don’t have to say anything, you can simply keep Him company and be assured He will always keep you company even if you don’t sense His Presence, you might like to pray and ask for the grace of trust in this.

Jesus didn’t ever say faith would be easy, but He did say that He would always be with us and He doesn’t lie!:slight_smile: Don’t rely on your feelings, they’re like dreams in the wind, rely on the Lord who is and is never changing.

St Paul said ‘There are three things that remain, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love’ Keep that love and seeking of Jesus in your heart and continue to pray then the others, faith and hope will fall into place. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so neither is faith, it’s a journey and it takes a whole lifetime and is only completed in eternity, that takes forever!:slight_smile: Do your best to do all that Jesus has asked you to do in the Gospel, keep the Sacraments and try not to be too hard on yourself, being merciful, kind and loving to others and yourself and always pray with your heart unceasingly in all you do.

I’ll do you a deal, you pray for me from time to time and I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you


Dear friend

I tried to use the edit feature but I’m a bit of an idiot with it, so I’ll add on here…

I just wanted to add that you may like to ask Jesus for the grace of a devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary, pray to her and ask her to obtain for you all of the graces God has allotted to your soul. Our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary presented Jesus to the world and she will present you to Jesus and plead on your behalf, I guarantee it!

You must not think you have done anything wrong and God does not love you, you must invite God more and more into your soul and continue to seek Him. Don’t worry if you doubt from time to time, all people do, the human mind is always rationalising God and in most ways this is a good thing, but sometimes we can get into the habit of talking ourselves into or out of things, don’t let that cycle of self-conversation take place, rather have those conversations with God, tell Him every little detail of your thoughts, He loves to hear you tell Him the good and bad of yourself and hand those things to Him, then He comes with Might to the soul and pours out graces when we are humbled in love of Him.

You must, we all must, keep giving to God our ‘Yes’ as Our Blessed Virgin Mother Mary did in her ‘Fiat’. This continual ‘Yes’ is the beginning and end of everyday, to decide ‘Yes’ for God. We all know who said ‘no’ to God!

You know everything is grace, keep praying for those graces. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, prayer is the road to grace and the source of grace is God.

Persevere and open your heart without pre-conceptions, God will surprise you!

God Bless you and much love and peace to you


I used to feel like that too…actually, I can’t honestly say that I don’t feel like that anymore…but the thing you have to remember is that, as far away as God feels to you, He never ever really leaves you, typically it’s us who leave Him. I spent a year in complete spiritual agony because I felt like God had abandoned me, and when I realized that it was me who was ignoring Him, I finally started to see Him and feel Him more and more. Going to Steubenville and World Youth Day (oh I wish I could go to World Youth Day!) definitely helps, but you have to remember that spiritual highs drop just as quickly as they come, just like anything else…what really tests our true faith is that we still believe and we still trust even when we CAN’T feel that enthusiasm anymore. And a couple days out of the year with God will never be enough to sustain you in your everyday life. You must constantly put yourself in places where God is the focus, like joining your church’s youth group, bible study, youth choir, religious ed programs, confirmation teams, etc. Anything that you can do to spend time with your fellow Christians and with God will definitely help bring you closer to Him. It’s always easier to feel Him when you’re surrounded by those who believe what you do, so constantly put yourself in those situations. I realized that one of the reasons I lost my faith was because I only spent time with God for one reluctant hour on Sunday…when I started getting involved in my church’s youth programs more and more, that stronger I became in my faith and the closer I came to Him.

But most importantly, don’t give up, never ever give up. no matter how lost or far away you feel, fight with everything you have to hold on to your faith. God never leaves you, even when you don’t feel like He’s close by. He’s guiding you, He’s loving you, and He’s holding you…just trust Him, and trust that He’s always there no matter what, and that alone will give you strength. You have many prayers coming your way, keep believing and keep striving for Him, He’s closer than you could ever imagine.
God bless,
In Him,

This might sound strange, but try thanking Him.

Thank Him profusely for everything good in your life. Thank Him for dying for you. Thank Him for never giving you more than you can handle. Look around your room and examine your life, your comforts, the things you love, and thank Him for them. Thank Him for loving you, and for directing things in your life that are for your ultimate good, whether a lot of it is apparent to you or not. Look to how many unfortunate people there are in this world, and thank Him for your comparable fortune. Set aside your usual requests of Him, and rather, be humbled at what He has done for you.

Probably for some reason having to do with the way we humans are wired, it is psychologically more difficult to feel like God is not listening even to *thanks and praise. *

Try it out.

These are all incredible answers. I honestly have nothing more to add except that we must pray unceasingly and that means in everything we do. That will AUTOMATICALLY create a special awareness for God. At work for example, at a time in which you don’t specifically have to talk or think, why not say a rosary or like Karen10, thank him for all he has done. There are all sorts of prayer: Scriptural, rosary, petition, repentance prayer, all types! Awareness is very important in realizing that God is right there with you. In fact, he is looking right at you as you are reading this. Hi God! :slight_smile: How are ya? Love ya!
As you watch TV shows for instance, be particularly aware of what you are watching rather than just completely being engrossed into the whole show without realizing your surroundings. Try to make yourself more aware by reading scripture; there are many ways to increase awareness all to bring focus on God who is always there. Hi God! Greetings. He is here with you right now.
God bless.


In a word, yes. I know that God loves me, and though I have this perpetually on my mind, I go through periods of anxiety, when it feels as though God has abandoned me.

I refer to these times as “Dark Nights”, as in “Dark Night of the Soul”, the poem by St. John of the Cross. At these times I cannot feel God’s presence and it hurts dreadfully. Though it is painful to experience, this feeling of complete abandonment, it is also an opportunity for great spiritual growth.

I liken my “Dark Nights” to God teaching me how to ride a bicycle. He takes me through my life by the hand, and I rely on Him for everything. I believe that He occasionally lets go of the handlebars and urges me to take the next step in faith… to believe that He will be there always, even if I can’t feel His presence with me. He will catch me if I fall. He will guide me around obstacles along the path to heaven.

A friend of mine (with whom I’ve discussed these difficult times before) likened his experiences to God placing him on a ledge, then standing back, folding His arms, and saying “Jump to me, I will catch you.” He says that when he jumps he is never disappointed… God has never failed him.

In short, I think its not something to worry about. It can very well be a gift from God… a test of faith. Trust in God, for He is faithful, and He never truly abandons His children.

God bless,


That is so profoundly beautiful. Thank you. I may have jumped the gun a lot in thinking the issue was merely a need for spirtual guidance but if this is the case…as Agricola describes as “dark nights” I hope user servesthelamb, that you forgive me.

Yes, as Agricola speaks of “dark nights” I too have experienced those so many times I cannot even count but as Agricola says, this can certainly be seen as a gift. I have always emerged more happy and thirsting for God at such times. It has always helped me…and I never realized that until now. Thank you Agricola. In any case, it certainly helps one not become Luke-warm…the very thing that the Lord warns against in Scripture. I am grateful to God for all of you. God bless.

Thank you all alot. I used to be on teentalk on But they closed it. I needed some advice and I couldn’t go to the preist like I usually do because of circumstances beyond my control. Thanks.


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