When I was a young girl, I must have been open to the Holy Spirit because I could “feel” His presence when at church or in the presence of some holy people. This “feeling” is very deep and not involved with emotion. It is like a “warm fuzzy”.
Then again, I would get what you could call inspirations. They weren’t anything thought out. They were just natural reactions which involved gentleness and kindness, like giving my lunch money to a boy who asked for some change ( miraculously returned to me just at lunch time).
Unfortunately, as I grew older and more confused, I must have tuned these inspirations out. For instance, I believe I had a vocation as a teenager. But, my lack of catechesis and influences by my Protestant friends and New Age baloney closed my eyes to this. Missing this important juncture caused my spririt to spiral downward.
To make a very long story short, the Holy Spirit returned to me at a wedding during the sermon (the parable about building one’s house on the rock vs. the sand). It came as a rush, almost like wind that caused me to gasp. At that moment, the “scales fell from my eyes”, and all the errors of my ways, and the light of understanding came to me. All my confusion left me.
This occurred in an instant. I have never turned back.
I can’t tell you how many times the Holy Spirt has intervened since then. I usually realize it after the fact. This is the value of relfection. I love it, love it, love it. I am, unfortunately, however, prone to spiritual confusion at times which causes me a lot of torment. It comes and goes. I usually bask in moments of illumination as consolations from God. Bless you.