Do You Have A Moral Consultant Or Confidante?


#1

When confronted with a moral dilemma or problem, whom do you consult for enlightenment and the right answer?


#2

I don’t really have a moral consultant. If I have a problem, I’d like to be able to go to a priest, but I’m afraid of depending upon him too much or having him get the wrong impression. Just my own personal fears and self-doubt. Besides, he’s got enough to worry about without me bothering him.

Scout :tiphat:


#3

My moral confidant/consultant is my husband. There are often times in which what we can not figure out on our own we go to a priest. We have to be very careful about that though, our diocese is run by the sheep (the priests) and not the shepard (the bishop) and there is not a priest in the entire diocese that I would trust 100% with some moral issues ie Birth control, artificial reproductive technologies, oh heck, none of them even want to talk about the gravity of missing the Sunday obligation…but that’s a whole other thread topic someday!


#4

I find that through prayer God always leads me in the right direction.:amen:


#5

One saint has said that if one takes oneself for direction in their journey towards God…he/she is a fool!

I have taken that very seriously…one can even easily dupe oneself by believing that God always directs us.

I have had a priest/spiritual director for over 20+ years. It is the priest that I beleive that God gave me. There has been many ups and downs. But I have grown (and I believe the priest also) during this journey. Like in confession, I believe that Christ speaks through the priest (that is when you go with that motivation). A director never tells you what to do but co-discerns with you. Mine takes a lot of notes. I suppose he could write a book after 20+ years!

I used to think that I am bothering him, or that he is too busy, etc, but I eventually came to the belief that this is the devil’s tactics. Of course, the devil would never want you to make progress on any kind of spiritual journey. So, I do not allow these thoughts to encumber me at all.

I cannot use my husband as we are totally contrary to moral issues: he is pro-abortion, pro same-sex marriage, pro living together prior to marriage, etc, etc, etc…It can be a struggle at times…

Blessings,
Shoshana


#6

DH is thoroughly reliable for general questions, as all his children, relatives, coworkers consider him the one to ask. For a specific issue I would ask someone with specific expertise i.e. a medical ethicist (orthodox Catholic only) on a life support issue, a canon lawyer for a canon law problem etc. I once had occassion to bring a complex moral dilemma involving a large non-profit organization that received support from the Church directly to the attention of the bishop, who graciously advised me on my personal duty and helped me frame a policy for the organization.


#7

No I do not have one of these but I certainly wish that I did…I could definitely use one about now!


#8

Myself…thru reflective prayer and the Catechism.


#9

I have never in my life gone to ask advise from anyone. But I do tell God about troubleing situations.

I did , in about 1968, attempt to talk to a priest. That was the only time. He was not helpful at all. He didn’t want to talk…so that was That!

I think the priests are the ones who need to come to guys like me for advice. Not for religious advice , but in matters that concern people .
30 years ago I’d play golf with a Monsenior, but we only talked sports.


#10

[quote=Exporter]I have never in my life gone to ask advise from anyone. But I do tell God about troubleing situations.

I did , in about 1968, attempt to talk to a priest. That was the only time. He was not helpful at all. He didn’t want to talk…so that was That!

I think the priests are the ones who need to come to guys like me for advice. Not for religious advice , but in matters that concern people .
30 years ago I’d play golf with a Monsenior, but we only talked sports.
[/quote]


Exporter,

Have you ever asked the Lord to direct you to a priest? A spiritual director does not on the whole tell you what to do…he co-discerns with you whatever the Lord seems to be telling you at any given time through prayer, reflection, etc…

Blessings,
Shoshana


#11

God, my mother, my priest, the Bible, the Catechism.

(roughly in that order, depending on the problem. And in case anyone asks, I put the books lower because they are usually unclear about one-off, specific situations.)


#12

[quote=Exporter]I did , in about 1968, attempt to talk to a priest. That was the only time. He was not helpful at all. He didn’t want to talk…so that was That!

[/quote]

Fortunately, not all preists are the same. I have had some bad experiences with them too. But I dont’ think it was because they were priests, but becuase they lacked personal communication skills. I cna’t help but wonder if this is going to be more often a problem,a s there are fewer and fewer priests. They have so many responsibilites that thier functions must almost beceom mechanical, and the chances to learn how to relate to people as human beings, are limited - they seldom even live with any other priest. I would expect differently of those who work in a teaching environment.

Similar to Annie’s experience, different people help me at different times in my life and in regards to certain issues. Right now one of the most helpful people is a nun who I met while trying to find out information about her order. We aren’t sure that her order is the best for me, and my student loans will be a probalem any where, but she has helped me so much on teaching me other things, about other options, and just being some one to talk to at any time about anything.

Yes, I always offer my problems to God and ask him for advice, but God does not always speak directly to me one on one. He more often speaks through other people and events. Many and mysterious are his ways. Finding a book at a particular time. chance meeting on the way to somewhere or in line.

True, priests are ultimately human and God speaks to them through us as well, but it seems a bit self-centered to think that all priests benefit form talking to us more than we would benefit from talking to them.


#13

If I have a moral issue I usually will consult a good book on the matter.


#14

I seek the advice of my spiritual director and sometimes a priest…


#15

Right now I feel I am so lucky.

I have a Spiritual Director assigned to me by the Prelature of Opus Dei. He travels over 20 miles to meet with me for an hour once a month. He is amazing.

Thanks be to God for a prayer heard and answered.


#16

[quote=gavin52]If I have a moral issue I usually will consult a good book on the matter.
[/quote]

I also consult a good Catholic book or website. And more recently I’ve been consulting these boards :).


#17

I am very blessed. I talk with my husband, my best girlfriend from college (we were theology undergrads together and she happens to be studying moral theology on the grad level, which helps) and a terrific priest nearby provides spiritual direction. As much as I feel “on my own” at work and daily life, there are many people I can turn to.


#18

[quote=Fergal]Right now I feel I am so lucky.

I have a Spiritual Director assigned to me by the Prelature of Opus Dei. He travels over 20 miles to meet with me for an hour once a month. He is amazing.

Thanks be to God for a prayer heard and answered.
[/quote]

Fergal,
My SD is Opus Dei too…:slight_smile:


#19

Annunciata, aren’t they wonderful priests? I am so blown away by their dedication to the Church and the members therin.

They have certainly filled a void in my life by their example, preaching and orthodoxy.

May God bless them all.


#20

catechism


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