Do you have to forgive someone who doesn’t ask for forgiveness?
Yes. You can’t just hold a grudge against someone whose pride gets in the way of their repentance. Forgive them in your heart.
If we don’t forgive others how do we expect Our Lord to forgive us.
Short answer: yes. It is your heart being judged by God. You answer for your conscience, and they for theirs.
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you and they don’t seem to care?
How do I forgive when I still feel so hurt and angry?
If it takes a long time to forgive someone, how can I receive the Eucharist and not go to hell in the meantime?
Take it to Confession and talk to your Priest.
We say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Understand it’s not about you. They did whatever they did for themselves. Understand what a poor state that soul is in & offer your hurt to God, in reparation for that offense. Ask God to remember His mercy & help that soul.
You forgive them by desiring no ill will towards them and then you pray that they come to understand the hurt they have caused and desire they live a life in Christ. You don’t have to forget or condone whatever happened, and if that person is harmful to you you don’t even have to keep seeing them, but you should not allow the hurt to fester in you and cause spiritual damage. If they come to you in the future seeking words of forgiveness then be willing to truthfully give them that and be joyful that they have progressed so far.
From personal experience it’s a lot easier said than done.
I’m just so scared of going to hell. I’m afraid that if I still feel hurt, I won’t be able to tell if I’ve forgiven her or not.
It is normal to feel anger when somebody unjustly harm us. However, we must not allow that to grow into hatred, which destroys charity and puts us in a dangerous path of condemnation.
We cannot fight against hate by lashing out more anger (we would only make things worse), we can only fight it using the opposite patience, charity, forgiveness, temperance. Remember Jesus had to forgive His killers on the Cross.
“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15)
In the mean time, praying for your enemies and asking our Lord to help you heal you might be a good start for you. Forgiving your enemies will set you free to move on.
It’s good to fear for your soul, but God wants love, not fear. Everything you’re feeling right now, everything you are sharing with us you should share with a priest in confession.
It’s natural to feel hurt. If in that hurt you desire harmful things to that person, then you are on shaky ground but I can’t judge you. However, if you are hurt and instead are working to get past it and desire to not have that be your definition of this person I’d say you sound like your heading in the right direction. Discussing this with your priest would probably be useful.
In the meantime, whenever you feel hurt, remember that Christ was abandoned by almost all of his followers in his last days. Join your hurt to his and pray that it brings the person who hurt you to a grace-filled life.
So you can forgive someone even while still feeling hurt?
Saying the words “I forgive you”, or praying those words about someone, removes the barrier between you and them. forgiveness seems to say, “Because I love you, let’s just move on.”
You can however as Pope Francis said:
“Forgiving people who have offended us is not easy,” he added, so people must pray to the Lord “to teach me to forgive as you have forgiven me.” Human strength or will is not enough to be able to forgive, he said; it requires grace from the Holy Spirit.
Why would you even have to ask? Holding on to a grudge only hurts you, not the person who you refuse to forgive.