Yes, I do. I’m a sixteen year old Catholc male, and my predominant erotic and romantic attraction is to other males.
I haven’t acted on it, even remotely, with another person…but have privately in fantasy, masturbation, and pornography…which I regret.
I fully and fervently accept the Church’s teachings and confess sins of lust.
I agree, generally, with LCMS’s assesment about the psychological and emotional origins of it…and am in therapy with an orthodox Catholic therapist and working to change my psyche and emotional and social outlook while I’m still young and have oppurtunities in school and stuff to change my views of masculinity.
Moberly’s view is that SSA is the result of a bad relationship with one’s father resulting from either actual or percieved rejection by the father (in the case of the boy). As a result, when the boy approaches puberty, the need for same-sex love and affirmation are not met, yet the needs are still there. Those needs become eroticized and a young man finds himself attracted to members of the same sex, usually ones with certain attributes that he feels he lacks.
Not just Moberly, but many therapists nowadays…though they are not considered mainline sadly because of a liberal agenda in major psychological organizations.
I generally agree with that explanation, with an alternative, however:
The rejection need not come from the father, but also can come from male peers or a bad portrayal of masculinity and male sexuality in the media and culture percieved by sensitive boys.
I consider myself to have a very good relationship with my father. We are a lot a like, and he certainly never questioned my masculinity or presented a bad image of masculinty.
But as for the boys in school, and the way men and male heterosexuality were portrayed in the (I now realize highly liberal feminist) media on TV and stuff…I certainly did not want to be a part of that! Boys were bad and mischievious and insensitive, and when men desired sex with a woman (though I didnt fully understand what sex was at the time) it was something vulgar and lustful and animal and degrading to the woman, objectifying her. Boys were mean and teasing, and “manly men” on TV were barbaric and slobbish and violent and crude. They were all obsessed with there dumb sports and alcohol and goofing off and having bravado…ugh.
Women and feminity I however idealized, perhaps falling for feminist propaganda, as nuturing, and kind, and victimized by men, and not barbaric or crude, as caring about the emotional aspects of sexuality more than the physical etc…
Well, in this way, I defensively detatched from masculinity and was emotionally eunuched. I had mainly girl friends, didn’t participate in male bonding with peers my own age, and was generally suspicious of males’ motives and attitudes.
Of course, I realize now, I created a false dichotomy. There are good aspects of males, they can be fun, confident, strong, and take the initiative, and the bad ones are often part of a false cultural standard for men. And there are bad qualities of women, they can be ditzy, indecisive, and often just as lustful as men…even if in a more secret way.
People are people, and are always imperfect. Gender is gender, its really quite neutral, though society tries to force unhealthy stereotypes on it. I realize now that to get in a big angsty fit over it is stupid, and to harbor bitter emotions or distorted perceptions is wrong. Sadly, these feelings are deeply engrained in my psyche, and programmed deeply into my brain.