Hi, being a working mom is HARD! Being a working Doctor Mom is close to being impossible.
My best friend is a pediatrician and she has 4 kids. She was going to stop at 2 kids, but got pregnant at 39 with twin daughters (and she was using contraception - not NFP!) She is on call every other weekend and every other holiday. Her days off are Wed and Sunday, and she works every other Saturday til 1pm. She works late nights 2-3 times per week visiting patients in the hospital. That means she misses special times with her kids that she really regrets. She can’t do homework with them, or hear how their days went in school. She misses half of the baseball or soccer games. She works through spring break, summer and Christmas vacations. She can’t take her kids to their friends b-day parties. She has a stay at home husband who does all the cooking, and the laundry, and drives the kids everywhere. She has a live in nanny too. Her husband has learned to dress girls, make braids, and put in bows. Her kids are “rougher” around the edges than she would choose, but that is because her husband is the primary care giver not her. For instance, they don’t have very good table manners, always push to be first in line, and are generally routy. One of her twin daughters was born with developmental delays and has to go to PT every week. She spends a lot of her “free” time with that daughter.
My sister is an MD and a psychiatrist with 3 kids. Her husband is a lawyer. She never had a nanny, although my mom and her MIL helped a lot when the kids were little. The kids grew up in Day Care until 6 or 7 pm everyday. They had to go to school when they were sick, or hang out at their dad’s lawyer’s office on the couch. Summers are full and hectic with summer camps. On school holidays she started leaving the kids alone in the house when the oldest was 12 and the youngest was 8. The kids also have very little manners. They know every video game and every TV show by heart, but I’m not too sure about their prayers??? She often travels giving speaches at pharmacuetical conferences, which is very good money, but she is not home for 10 or 12 weeks a year.
In both families, the couple has no time for each other, and are often fighting, or exhausted.
On the upside, both these families make good livings. They have big houses, nice cars. The kids go to the best Catholic Schools. They have fun vacations, the kids have soooo many toys and video games.
I am sorry to be a downer. But I think it is unfair to let you go through so much studying without knowing the consequences of your decisions.
It is not possible to “have it all”. Every decision you make has consequences.
If you haven’t determined a specialty, might I suggest opthalmologist? At least they keep banker’s hours, work in a “shop” where kids could hang out and do homework, don’t often have patients in the hospital, and don’t have to be “on call”.