In this case I shared it with someone because I found it an amusing anecdote about Francis’s boldness of style. While I consider it slightly more positive than negative, I could see how some might take it negatively. Overall, I considered this gossip to be neither positive nor negative, but neutral. However, I had no qualms about sharing it in person or here online because it was so consistent with other actions that Francis was sharing with the world that I considered it “pre-approved.”
[quote=Bob123Q]As for Jane employess could have been simplied told to do the paper work or you will get talked too as one of your fellow workers have been caught not doing their paper work
There is no need to gossib about something Jane did. The employess do not need to hear gossip about a specific person only general situation.
This cast Jane in a negative light regradless of what peoples opinion of her were before. No one can know that everyone would her this as something not hurtful or know that everyone knew Jane was a good employee.
Actually, in this case the person sharing it knew that the small group I was a part of all did respect Jane as a good employee, and this was what made the message more relevant - if Jane could get in trouble for this, everyone else had better shape up. I assume the gossiper and others were not so careless as to share this in other departments where people did not know Jane as well. On the other hand, if the gossiper had done it in the way you suggest, people would naturally be playing the guessing game: “I bet it was Tom, he’s had a few brushes with trouble before.” Jane, although she was gone for a couple weeks, did not mind that the episode was shared, as most of us have shared our own experiences to help provide guidance for coworkers in dealing with other departments, clients, etc. Most of these anecdotes would properly be classified as gossip, but the information is invaluable in helping us anticipate problems and perform our jobs more effectively. So this is a case where gossip is promoting harmony by helping us better understand our neighbors.
I think this extends to family and relatives as well. When I was younger, I naturally idolized my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. More recently, various relatives have shared with me gossip about events and disagreements from long ago. I am glad they did not heed the admonition to “not speak ill of the dead”. This gossip has
*]Helped me better understand the dynamics of my extended family, and appreciate the reasons for what I thought had been simple stubbornness by some relatives
*]Allowed me to see that the relatives did not lead lives of unreachable sanctity, but instead trod a similar path to my own
*]Allowed me to imagine myself in their shoes so I can use them as very real examples to try to emulate in many cases, but avoid their mistakes in others.
*]Made me grateful that in spite of difficulties they may have had with themselves and others, they shared so much love with me.
[/LIST]I hope that when I am gone others will be willing to gossip about me, so that those listening may learn from my life and hopefully be able to live theirs better.