Does anyone have separate bank accounts from spouse?


#1

I was just wondering this question for my dh spends way too much money on junk. So we argue over money. I suggested we have separate bank accounts and split the bills equally. He said it was the start of a divorce. I don’t see it that way and it would alleviate one source of arguement at least. He says it is wrong.

So anyone out there do this or is it wrong for married couples to do this?


#2

**I think it’s one of those things that can be right OR wrong depending on the couple. Obviously for you right now it would be wrong because of your husband’s strong feelings on the issue. Maybe there is another solution that would work?

What worked for hubby and I was budgeting in some “play money” so that we could buy whatever “junk” we wanted without having to make the other see why it was necessary. And then the bills still get paid:thumbsup:**


#3

If we didn’t have separate accounts we’d have been bankrupt long ago for the same reason, DH spends too much. We have a joint chequing into which his paycheque and pension cheque go. From that I pay the bills and move a lot of the money into my “family” savings account. I put my own paycheque into my personal savings account. It works for us. We’ve been married 32 years.


#4

heh, we have ONE bank account - and it works on me ( I am a bigger spender than DH ) … I get so paranoid that he will see big and unecessary purchases on the credit card… so I just don’t make 'em anymore.

Guess that doesn’t work for everyone though.


#5

We have both joint and separate accounts. It can be an absolute marriage saver when you have differing views/values about $$$~which is quite common.


#6

Bottom line is that if he views it that way - it isn’t for your marriage.


**How about ONE account, but an agreed dollar amount for personal expenses for each of you each month? He can go to the bank and w/d that amount and when his wallet is empty so is he. That worked for us. **


#7

We have one fammily account for the paycheck that we pay the bills out of. My wife and I (and the kids) each have our own separate checking account for play money or an allowance. My company even allows me to split out the direct deposit and I put a few bucks into my account each pay check. I feel that is the best of both worlds.

Of course my wife doesn’t have concern about me hiding stuff from her (other than gifts and such). With the common account I couldn’t buy anything for her with out her finding out before I got home. It has also settled or help to avoid some arguments: I can’t complain about her “wasting” money on anything she buys with the play money account and vice versa.


#8

We have one account with both names that our paychecks and any other joint money goes into. We pay bills and such out of that one. We also each have a bank account in just our name. We only keep a few hundred dollars in those just for emergencies and non-necessities such as books or things we want. That way we don’t have to put money on credit cards for something that one or the other doesn’t think the other should buy. (i.e. if I want to go to the Catholic book store and buy another rosary or book or cd I use my account or if DH wants to buy some sports books or whatever, you know things that aren’t necessary but we like to treat ourselves to) Because those accounts only have one name on them we will never put over $1000 in either of them simply because if one of us dies, the other couldn’t get the money out without going through probate. So we don’t want a lot of money in the accounts that aren’t joint. That’s the explanation you get when you are married to a lawyer like I am;):rolleyes::D.

But I don’t see anything wrong with have a small account that is yours, but , also DH knows I have that account and that I have a credit card in just my name too. I don’t think its a good idea to keep secrets from each other about stuff like that.


#9

It’s hard too!. Back in the days when you got a paper paycheck it was easy to skim off a few dollars each week and have money for gifts, etc. But with electronic banking and the internet it is getting harder to surprise your spouse. I once tried to buy her a nice gift for some occasion and waited till a couple days before the event and then bought some nice jewlry knowing she wouldn’t get the credit card statement till after the surprise. Well, the Credit Card company saw the purchase as unusal and called the house to confirm the purchases were legitimate; tipping her off in the process.


#10

We do not have a joint account.


#11

It depends on the couple. We have a joint account, some good friends of ours have separate accounts. Since your DH views a separate account as the beginning of a divorce, this doesn’t sound like a good route for you, at least at this time.


#12

I’ll do this if I’m ever married AGAIN. I know a couple who are both divorce lawyers and they keep seperate accounts for personal stuff and one joint account that they both move money into for bills, mortgage, etc. They’ve just seen too much trouble over money.

If your spouse feels it’s the start of a divorce, it’s probably not a good idea. What might be a good idea instead is something like Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University…so you can both get on the same page about spending habits. Sounds llike that’s the real problem.


#13

We have had seperate accounts for the last 25 years. It works for us.

I don’t think this is a good idea if both are not working outside the home.

When we went this route we divided the bills. For instance I took the mortgage, my car, power bill. She took her car, phone, cable. We have a joint AE account but seperate cards, whatever ya charge you gotta pay. Stuff like insurance if its your ride you pay it. Our health insurance is covered by the city I worked for. We have a joint savings account, we each 10% in. Stuff like eating out, food, we just deal with on a ad hoc basis. “Do ya wanna eat out tonight?” “Only if you pay, I’m tapped.” I really don’t care what she does after she meets her part to keep the family going. She works, and she shouldn’t have to check wth me if she wants to buy something for fun. Things like SHOES!

We are empty nesters,when he was little his needs were met by whoever had at the mall that day. :stuck_out_tongue:

We try to work things where at least one of us does not have a car payment going on. We’re a team, we always have each others back.

Now that I’m retired and gas is 3.70 a gallon, she has more money than me. End of the month I’m shut down waiting on my next pension check. LOL so now I call her like she use to do me, “Hey put some money in my account.”

The system worked/works for us.


#14

We used to, but since moving to Florida, we have one we share. It works fine–we just try to always keep each other up to date on our spending, and discuss before making bigger purchases. It was also good when we had two accounts, but it can become a pain, when writing checks from two accounts for things, and then trying to close out both…ugh. It is easier having one I think, but I can relate to people who open two.


#15

Realle 1ke? I am surprised. (just because so much of the advice or things you say are very in line with my Godmother). My Godmother told me before I got married that once you get married, you share everything. There is no such thing as this is yours and that is mine. I took that as though we must have one bank account. So far, I really like it. I really feel like I can trust my DH and I feel like he can trust me and we are both aware of our finances as a result because all we have to do is analyze one account.

Not saying that you and your DH don’t share everything, because I am sure you do :slight_smile: Is there any particular reason you don’t have a joint account, if I may ask?


#16

We have 2 joint accounts and each have a personal account.

DH’s paycheck gets deposited into his personal account. The majority gets transfered into our joint account for bills and expenses. The remainder, a previously agreed upon amount, is left in his personal account for his personal expenses.

I have my own business, and my business account transfers money into my personal account. This is used both for personal expenses and for joint expenses.

During holiday time or birthday season, I leave an additional amount in DH’s account for him to use as he sees fit.

Our other joint account is at a local bank, because all of the others are not local (because we’ve moved twice) but we’ve banked at them so long that we like to keep the relationship. We only use the joint account when people send us checks that require deposit.

This system works for us. We each have spending money and the bills are paid.


#17

+1


#18

You might want to search the forum, because this is one of those topics that I see come up periodically. I used to be firmly against having separate accounts, but I have come to realize that it works for some people. Personally, my wife and I have one account and that works for us. It is something that you need to look at carefully for your situation and it is something that both you and your husband need to agree on. I would have a big problem if my wife had a hidden account from me, but if she had a valid reason for a separate account, and we talked about it, then I might be willing.

The biggest issue that you may to need to talk about is budgeting. It might be helpful to talk to a financial adviser on setting up a budget. Then it takes the discipline to follow it. A third party might make the budget easier to follow. I can see where having a personal checking account my help with this. One joint for bills and household expenses where all the money gets deposited. Then each have a personal account with a set amount each month is deposited that each person can use as they see fit.


#19

We have had separate accounts for many years. When we had a joint account, my DH was very irresponsible with money, wrote checks that bounced, continual (unexplainable) ATM withdrawals for cash, etc. The right hand did not know what the left hand was doing, and I had to stop the leak in the family financial bucket. To this day, he does not have a checking account - only a savings/ATM account. We divided the bills, and he used to get money orders. Now he just gives me the money and I pay them online. With online banking, it might be possible that we could have a joint account again. Though he has been a lot better with money lately, I still don’t have the trust.


#20

well even separate accounts won’t address underlying problems and behaviors related to use of money, so a couple with those problems should probably get some counselling, and some financial education, but since you ask,

yes, since beginning of marriage we have had separate checking accounts with savings feature or interest bearing feature attached. Our IRAs of course are separate, and we have some joint investments as well. In addition, each business has had its own checking, even with the business is just one of use doing some endeavor for a short period of time. Learning and applying sound financial principals is as essential in marriage as it is in business. education is the key.

this arrangement has been for practical reasons, but it has definitely helped keep things straight and stop problems before they happen. We also have separate credit cards, because all purchasing is done that way for better tracking of expenses, one joint account, and a separate account for business travel and expenses. let us put it this way, DH is not the person with the problem, but getting educated and learning the hard way about abusing spending and credit have benefitted me enormously.

we get credit reports annually, and check every statement minutely, and so have stopped problems (including ID theft) almost immediately w/o financial loss (so far). This is one are where being lazy and casual will cost you big time in the long run.


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